Biblical sex — it could knock your socks off

Instead of being a list of sexual shalt-nots, the Bible contains so much graphic eroticism that parents may want to keep the sacred text away from youth under age 18.

Indeed, that’s what 2,000 Hong Kong residents tried to do in May when they called on a Chinese decency commission to restrict the Bible to adults only because it contains passages that seem to give the okay to incest, rape, adultery and a father offering his daughters to strangers for sexual gratification.

The Bible — which has been the foundation for much of the world’s sex-related laws — is actually, it seems, quite erotic, and surprisingly soft on things like prostitution and polygamy.

And even though some Bible passages criticize homoeroticism, others non-judgmentally describe prominent men loving other men in a sensual way. The Bible, as well, frequently employs sexual communion as a metaphor for how humans can passionately relate to God.

Masturbation?

There is no prohibition against it in the Bible, Hornsby says. The famous Genesis story of Onan, for instance, has nothing to do with masturbation being bad.

It’s about a royal man engaging in coitus interruptus to shirk his procreative duties to his deceased husband’s wife, so that his own son would inherit riches.

That’s good news to these guys (NSFW and those with a prudish disposition).



  1. bobbo says:

    “The Bible’s teachings on sex cannot be literally applied to all times, places and people — with favorite quotes cherry-picked to support our sexual habits, whether liberal or conservative.”

    You obviously don’t know how to read the bible now do you!! Only the sinful will misinterpret the bible for evil ways.

    May your pomegranites become like sand to the desert!

  2. Intelligence says:

    What would Fallwell have said of this ?

  3. Intelligence says:

    What would Fallwell have said of this ?
    “Cross cultural” different point of view.
    If everyone saw everything in the same way the world would be a boring place.
    Goes to show you how everything can be seen from different perspectives and viewpoints .
    As they say :It all depends how you tell the story”

  4. mas turbator says:

    If masturbation is so wrong it would have specifically mentioned it in the Bible, which it’s not.
    And I too read the passages in Song of Solomon which sounded a lot like somebody was giving some oral pleasure…

  5. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #3 If everyone saw everything in the same way the world would be a boring place.

    But, if no one saw everything the way fundamentalists do, the world would be a better place.

  6. KAP says:

    As a minister who often counsels couples, I tell them sex is good and a if not enjoyed regularly then you can have problems. Also nothing is off limits according to the bible so long as it is between a man and woman within the bonds of marriage. As for masturbation, the only problem you have would be indulging lust.

  7. Angel H. Wong says:

    All I know about sex in the Bible is that if a woman has her period she should be locked up until it’s over.

  8. Stiffler says:

    The Bible doesn’t denegrate sex; rather it makes it special and holy by setting forth guidelines for the proper practice. Following these aren’t restrictive; on the contrary, they’re liberating. I can honestly say that my strong marriage is due to following the principles outlined there.

  9. bobbo says:

    8—You do what you (and your wife) enjoy. If the bible happens to coincide with your animal nature then all is good. I’ve never seen ONE issue where the bible says anything anyone says it says==if you read it long enough. And by read it, I mean go to bible sources that review the 385 (sic) major versions of the bible that exits.

    Everything I think I know about the bible is tangential to this issue so I wont post about slavery and stoning non compliant women.

    Anybody got some good sex advice from the bible?

  10. bobbo says:

    Well, that was easy. Just google “bible sex” and just about everything of biblical authority is truly abhorrent. Another minus one for the bible and its thumper, but minus two for those who ignorantly praise and minus three for those praising it while violating it at the same time.

    Whats your score?

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0201/answers.html

  11. OmarThe Alien says:

    All I know is that the Biblical TV specials on History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc all have the best nudity and toga shots on TV.

  12. rectagon says:

    Yes, the Bible has some wonderful passages about romantic love and sex. The Victorians had difficulty with this and didn’t read the Song of Songs.

    However, the author here has not made the distinction between “descriptive” passages (telling the story) with “proscriptive” passages (passing judgment on acts).

    The masturbation comment (#4) above is correct… that was a descriptive passage and the rest of the Bible is silent on that topic.

    However, there are definitive proscriptive passages frowning upon incest, rape, promiscuity, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and bestiality. Other proscriptive passages smile upon intimate sexual relations between husbands and wives which, frankly, are quite tame but sensual nonetheless.

  13. James Hill says:

    #5 – So you’re saying non-fundamentalism is the new fundamentalism?

  14. grog says:

    okay, hate to say it to all the bible-thumpers — you cannot have it both ways, either there are passages in the bible that condone incest or there aren’t

    sorry, but you are the one’s expecting me to take it literally as a historical document showing the world to be only 4,000 years old, etc.

    so, don’t you EVER tell me about interpreting the bible — either it’s literal or it ain’t, period.


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