The world has received proof that prison does indeed work. In an interview from the Los Angeles jail, celebrity inmate Paris Hilton claimed a remarkable transformation in her character. She said she was no longer superficial, had found God, wanted to work with sick children and had not looked in a mirror since entering prison.
She said she had spent her time playing table tennis, reading newspapers, the Bible and self-help books.
The privations of prison life, she added, had enriched her. Make-up was not allowed, and while the absence of face cream had left her skin parched, she had her mind on more important matters.
I’m still waiting to see if she jumps into bed with the Born Again Floozies, goes on Cruise Control with Scientology or takes the badass prison route and accepts guidance from the teachings of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad.
All this in only a few days. Wow. What will happen by the end of the 45 days?
She claims she’s been “acting” superficial and “acting” dumb. Wow!!! If that’s the case, give this girl an Oscar or a Daytime Emmy because she’s been doing a phenomenal performance over the years.
cocaine – it’s a helluva drug
Heh she’s had this remarkable turnaround in her life in less than a week?
If that’s true, why not send all those spoiled and drunk actors to jail and see them clean up their acts, too?
She probably saw the trailer for Evan Almighty and found Morgan Freeman’s phone number…
Oh crap, the only thing worse than slutty Paris… Born Again Paris.
I half expected this to be an “Onion” article. . .
#1: Water into wine.
Just sayin’ all the right things to get out early.
LOL Some very funny comments here.
Why are you all so mean towards her? She’s no worse than most other mid-20 year olds.
boycotting all things paris
The world has received proof that prison does indeed work.
What?
Prison turned a superficial, self-centered, vapid idiot into a Christian.
How is that an upgrade?
#13, not all Christians are superficial, vapid, and/or self-centered – a number of us try to be quite reasonable in discourse, focus on helping those in need in a realistic way, and maintain an open mind – with the understanding that the Bible was written a long time ago for a different audience and as such the lens of time distorts the message a bit.
I predicted she’d come out a deeper person, maybe with some responsibility. I figured she’d grow up. But I didn’t consider this scenario.
During her absence from custody, the fambly, of course, had some frenzied high-level meetings, which naturally included her lawyers, her agent and her publicist. And so they came up with this.
Paris is being what they call ‘rebranded.’ New image, new target audience, new you-name-it.
‘Scuse me whilst I slap myself for not having seen this coming from miiiiiiles away…
She acts like a damn child.. just saying whatever she thinks it’ll take to get what she wants. Anyone who doesn’t see right through it shouldn’t have children.
One wonders she’s still hoping to leave early if its been nothing but an enlightening and self-awakening experience so far.
#14 – Oh for the love of Christ… WE KNOW.
WE ALL KNOW that many Christians are just fine people, even if they do believe something that isn’t true. Who cares?
Did you feel slighted? Marginalized? Offended? Now you know how a Muslin feels when he’s randomly selected to be searched at the airport. Now you know how an atheist feels, almost always. Now you know how most people feel about something most of the time… except in this case, there is a difference. You Christians are in charge. You rule. You hold the House, The Senate, The Presidency, all state and all local governments, and most dangerously, all the school boards.
The Internet is a rough place. Don’t take yourself so seriously and get a helmet.
“Fambly???”
Puhlease……
Paris’s price just went up.Her father says “Paris will cost more now” Check out paris get out of jail bash. Set up by DAD I never realized there was that much money in sending your daughter to party’s. Fathers day this sunday kids don”t forget dad.
I can see it now…Hilton, Lohan and Spears to replace the father, son and the holy ghost. The church deserves them.
? she can read ? it is a miracle.
Ummm,
Isnt she only supposed to finish the 28 days She was Charged with??
#17
Hehe… 🙂
#17 – Post of the year, nice job.
#17 – Dead on as usual. Please don’t stop posting!
12???
Boy-cotting??
Isnt that a hidden Pun??
Im sorry. but until she Walks the Walk…And REALLY spends some time with those inside, and the POOR, and LEARNS what its like to be on the bottom(LOL). Im sorry…She AINT going to change.
The act is not much, to be sure — but Paris certainly earns more with less than many people grasp. Allegedly she banks several MILLION a year just in personal appearances fees for attending openings, clubs, parties, etc. And does anyone believe she has to pay to travel, dress, eat — or part with cash for much of anything as long as a vendor or marketer’s product will benefit from her defacto endorsement? Give credit where it’s due… Paris is earning a bundle with her performance as America’s blonde bimbo. Quick, who is really more inept in public: Paris or W?
28,
And thats the problem…
Im abit older then some here, and not as Old as the others…
But I Want to appreciate some with a DECENT head, and attitude.
Makeing the RICH, RICHER, Isnt my idea of creative reality.
29,
I had to read your post twice as the first time through I thought you typed you want to appreciate some decent head.
Not to be subtle: there are 2 people born with silver spoons. Paris & W.
Now re-run the rant re richer getting richer… but add a what expense and who is getting hurt by who’s antics?