This is pretty funny. And sad. And frightening for where we’re headed.

What Would Happen if You Bought 25 Bottles of Nyquil?

After selecting a bottle of Nyquil and my Husband’s favorite brand of ice cream, it was time to check-out. I elected to go through the self check-out lane[. …] However, after I scanned my items, the computer started beeping.

“You have selected an age restricted item. Please wait for a cashier,” it said.

“What the Hell?” I mused, “Ice cream and Nyquil is age restricted now?”

A teenager with a lip piercing and bad dye job came rushing over. “Can I see your ID?” she chirped.

“What did I order that needs ID?” I asked.

She looked over my purchases and shrugged. “I guess it’s the Nyquil.”

I sighed deeply and handed her my driver’s license. She glanced at it quickly, typed my birthday into the computer, handed it back, and scurried away. Even though I didn’t show it, I was all kinds of annoyed.

I mean, what kind of nanny state am I living in right now? I can’t even buy cold medicine anymore without the government all up in my shit? Why is my right to privacy being invaded in favor of incompetent police officers who lack the ability to catch drug dealers without spying on the average law abiding citizen?

Then, out of nowhere, I thought, I wonder what would happen if I tried to buy all the Nyquil on the shelf?

Before I knew it, I had a small army of grocery store employees following me around the parking lot. It was fucking surreal. I felt like I was starring in the deleted scenes of one of those Terminator movies.

My theory was that they were waiting until I got into my car so they could write down my license plate number. To me, this was odd, considering the fact that they had my name, address, and phone number written on a slip of paper behind the customer service desk.



  1. mark says:

    Read the whole piece, its hilarious. This is my kind of woman, a real troublemaker. Ha!

  2. Improbus says:

    Violent Acres is one of my favorite blogs.

  3. KVolk says:

    good stuff…she’s got a pair I would say…

  4. BubbaRay says:

    Thanks, Uncle Dave, for giving me a smile for the day. This woman is one tough bowl of shaky pudding!!

  5. Jim says:

    Why all the concern over a bottle of cold medicine?
    The stuff is used in the production of METH.
    A very serious and growing problem in rural america, the abundance of meth-labs.
    So, to help combat the problem cold medicines are now a “controlled item” . It makes sense, and it helps combat this new drug scourge. I disagree with getting carded for only ONE bottle. But definitely agree that buying a whole shelf full SHOULD get you all kinds of un-wanted attention , esp from the police.

  6. Iamanassholetoo says:

    The Nyquil story was interesting, then I made the mistake of looking at some of her other entries.

    About all I come away with is, Damn what a NASTY bitch!

  7. huskergrrl says:

    The NyQuil on the shelf in most states no longer contains sudephedrine, which is a common meth-making ingredient. I can only assume that kids are using it to get high, somehow. Like the spray paint and canned air I’m constantly getting carded for.

    Last year a kid in Lincoln, Nebraska stabbed another guy to death after taking a bunch of Coricidin cold medicine. Apparently, the dextromethorphan, which is also found in NyQuil, in high doses is an hallucinogen.

  8. Charles Vaughn says:

    They took all of the good medication out of Nyquil. No more meth ingredients. My colds just aren’t the same with the good green stuff.

  9. Les says:

    I am not sure how long ago it was, but I used to buy Sudafed in 100 pill glass bottles.

  10. Angel H. Wong says:

    Ha!

    MY favourite cold medicine has Ephedrine, the real thing.

  11. malren says:

    Meth may be a huge problem, but it’s nothing compared to the enforcement of non-existent laws.

    My state has exactly such a law.

  12. hhopper says:

    Private businesses limit the sale of products every day. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of sales where they say “Limit 2 to a customer.”

  13. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    From the full blog post:
    “Hey, if the cops show up at my door, do not let them in without a warrant,” I told him, “That’s a violation of my 4th amendment rights!”

    “No problem.” He said. He’s learned to quit asking questions.

    That made me laugh out loud.

    By the way… The blog is not Mozilla friendly. Didn’t try it with FireFox.

  14. Les says:

    Firefox works, Mozilla didn’t. I probably wouldn’t have even read it if the evil IE was required.

  15. Flyingelvis says:

    Please, allow me to verify my understanding the pseudoephedrine laws…

    Meth is a problem. Pseudoephedrine is used in meth production. Purchases of pseudoephedrine are restricted to prevent meth production. Meth use continues to go up. Restrictions on pseudoephedrine purchases are effective how?

    It would be nice to see the goons in that make laws have to live under the same laws they pass.

  16. BubbaRay says:

    You know, the more I think about it, this woman is a candidate for the Darwin Award. Gosh, I wonder what would happen if I really maced that cop, or, Gee, I wonder what would happen if I push this butto… Ayyyiyiy Arggghhhhhhhh.

  17. Chris Swett says:

    The limit for pseudophedrine in my state is 3 boxes. I looked it up after an acquaintance who also worked briefly in a convenience store said she regularly got people in there asking for 10 or more boxes. The clerks there hadn’t been trained that they had to log all purchases, check ID’s and limit sales. The druggies went to convenience stores for that reason and the stores didn’t ask questions because they had huge mark-ups and no enforcement. I spoke to the county attourney and that got fixed in a hurry.

  18. Podesta says:

    Jeez! Her grammar is awful.

  19. crunchyknee says:

    @20. Obviously you are a moron. Maybe you need a bit of the meth that you decry?

    I wonder what would happen if you actually read a book or listened to something other than Sean Hannity?

  20. natefrog says:

    #5, #7: The cruel irony is that these restrictive meth laws have actually made the problem worse! In Nebraska, a law heavily restricting the sale of pseudoephedrines was passed before the federal law was enacted, and the overall effect was negative. While the number of meth labs busted decreased significantly, other issues have cropped up. Meth arrests have remained constant at best, or have increased, as meth is now imported from Mexico. This imported meth is both stronger and more expensive, which has had the side effects of more burglaries and increased addiction problems. Rehab centers report it is harder to treat meth addiction and more families are being broken up now. Unfortunately, I can’t find the link to the investigative article that reported this, any more.

    As an aside, it is quite amusing to harass the buffoons at Wal-Mart. I went in to buy spray paint once, was asked for ID to verify I was older than 18 (which I was), and refused. The cashier proceeded to claim that it was “the law,” at which point I told him he was incorrect (Nebraska has no laws requiring ID to purchase spray paint).

    Since the situation had quickly escalated beyond his ability to form coherent thoughts, he called over his supervisor who touted the same “it’s the law” line. When informed that I had recently bought spray paint at another store without showing ID, the supervisor said they were breaking the aforementioned law (which she couldn’t state, oddly enough). After informing her that it was simply Wal-Mart’s “asinine” policy to ask for ID, she became offended by my “foul language.” Obviously, the woman had no idea what “asinine” meant, so I asked her if she liked “anal retentive” any better (she didn’t).

    She then called the general manager over to deal with a “verbally abusive” customer. He offered no more help, again insisted it was the law, and threatened to call the police (to arrest me for buying spray paint illegally, undoubtedly). I left without showing ID or buying the spray paint…

  21. BubbaRay says:

    @20. Obviously you are a moron. Maybe you need a bit of the meth that you decry?
    I wonder what would happen if you actually read a book or listened to something other than Sean Hannity?
    Comment by crunchyknee

    Wow, perhaps you meant some other post. What did I ever do to you? I haven’t even mentioned meth in any post on this blog.

  22. BubbaRay says:

    #24, natefrog,

    Just curious, did you write a snail mail to Wal-Mart HQ in Arkansas about your negative shopping experience? I’ve found that doing so results in a storm for the GM if you can back up your claims. That’ll teach him! And as an added bonus, you might get some useful coupons in the $50 range.

  23. SN says:

    “But why are you willing to allow for a law passed by the government to restrict sales, but not for a policy by a private business to restrict sales?”

    Actually, there is a law as I pointed out in 13.

    As to your question, what right does anyone other than the government have to tell me how much I can buy? Why would you willingly give some business that right?

  24. Podesta says:

    It is not true that the law hasn’t worked. Out here in the Pacific Northwest, where there is a lot of drug use, as much as 75 percent of meth is now being imported instead of homebrewed.

  25. natefrog says:

    #26: Good thought, but this happened too long ago (about 4 years), unfortunately.

    Personally, I look forward to the day I make enough money that I never have to deal with Wal-Mart again. I feel so ashamed that I still shop there (although I didn’t for a few months after that incident).

  26. BubbaRay says:

    #29, Natefrog, even Warren Buffet shops at Wal-Mart. Me, I’m a total snob and shop at Super-Target. 🙂

  27. Don says:

    I haven’t looked at the label of the liquid Nyquil lately, but it used to be 50 proof. I learned that when I went to Army Basic in the early 80’s, and all of the “older dudes” came back from the PX with large bottles of Nyqil, and sat around doing shots in the evenings.

    That is probably the reasoning for the AGE CHECK for the purchase of just 1 bottle.

    Don

  28. jz says:

    This sudafed, Nyquil, and paint spray incident all come down to one thing: Could Wal-Mart et al. be held liable for an adverse incident if they sold said material? They shouldn’t be, but they are. If you get shot on a public sidewalk, you are outta luck, but if you gets shot at a Wal-Mart parking lot, hello big bucks. In fact, Wal-Mart is THE most sued business in America. See the link:
    http://tinyurl.com/2zgl36

    In Argentina, there was a nightclub fire that killed hundreds of people. In response, the people marched in the street. They were angry at the government and its fire dept. for the shoddy way in which the club was granted a license to operate and passed its fire inspection. The mayor of this city resigned in disgrace.

    In the U.S., when such an event has happened, the building owners are sued and no one says crap about all the government agencies and fire marshals who are supposed to regulate the buidling. That is one huge problem with civil lawsuits: it lets the government off the hook for its own responsibilities.

    Despite prior knowledge of terrorists in our country, NO ONE WAS FIRED OVER 9-11.

    The government is spending billions on the “war on drugs”. They cracked down on cocaine but then crystal meth. popped up. They cracked down on domestic sudafed and now meth is being imported from Mexico. And instead of coming forth and telling the American people, money spent on the “war on drugs” (like every other war on a substance or tactic) is really an endless and expensive game of whack-a-mole, they can blame it on Wal-Mart et al.

    So if someone funny looking comes into buy a lot of Sudafed/Nyquil/Spray Paint, screw them. It is better to lose one customer than the potential lawsuit from a meth overdose or destruction of private property. The government not the customer is king.

    And make no mistake, the government could fix this if they wanted to, but why bother? If you are unhappy with education, blame the teachers and not the government. Unhappy with health care? Blame the doctors and not the governement. Unhappy with vandalism and drug use? Blame Wal-Mart and not the government.

    The main cause of depression is a feeling of helplessness. If you want to beat someone down, give them an unreachable goal and chastise them when they do not meet it. Our government does this to its citizens every day.

    How are you supposed to know if a person is going to use spray paint for vandalism or use Sudafed to make meth? You just are dammit! No wonder people are sucking down Prozac like candy.

    At some point, I wish people would realize they are spending a total of 40% of all their income on taxes of various kinds (income, sales, etc). Instead of holding Wal-Mart et. al liable for vandalism or meth production, I just wish I would hear someone say, “You know what, Mr. Government official, my job is to move product. Solving crime is not. THE DAY YOU ARE REQUIRED TO WORK THE REGISTER IS THE DAY I SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO HELP YOU OUT WITH CRIME.”

    It amazes to me this day how many people continue to fall for blaming the puppets and not the puppet master.

  29. BubbaRay says:

    #32, jz, your post makes way too much sense. I don’t use drugs, nor do I advocate the use of drugs, but this ‘war on drugs’ is the most nonsensical waste of tax dollars I’ve ever seen. Remember prohibition? Ever hear of supply and demand? If the demand is there, you will never, ever, vanquish it regardless of laws, education, whatever. Grow up, you morans, you might as well try to legislate PI=3 or repeal the laws of physics. Just tax the newly legalized drugs and put the money to good use. Think of the violence that would eliminate. Cheese.

    [OK (snapping suspenders), too much rain and not enough telescope time in TX]

  30. ECA says:

    A post here a short while back..

    DEA states that 99% of the marijuna they Kill/discover is Wild, and on river and Ditch banks..
    Anyone get the point(s)?

    And another post a long while back.
    MJ doesnt cause Lung cancer as ciggarettes do.

    How about Oregon?
    Made the Vote for legalizing it, REVERSED…so voting YES ment NO..

    Who is it,
    Some state brought it up to legalize, PAST IT.
    And now all the lawmakers are saying, NOPE, DIDNt happen, CANT do that.


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