The QLink is a device sold to protect you from those terrifying invisible electromagnetic rays, and cure many ills. “It needs no batteries as it is ‘powered’ by the wearer – the microchip is activated by a copper induction coil which picks up sufficient micro currents from your heart to power the pendant.” According to the manufacturer’s sales banter, it corrects your energy frequencies. Or something.
Last summer I obtained one of these devices (from somewhere cheaper than Holford’s shop) and took it to Camp Dorkbot, an annual festival for dorks held – in a joke taken too far – at a scout camp outside Dorking. Here in the sunshine, some of the nation’s cheekiest electronics geeks examined the QLink. We chucked probes at it, and tried to detect any “frequencies” emitted, with no joy. And then we did what any proper dork does when presented with an interesting device: we broke it open. Drilling down, the first thing we came to was the circuit board. This, we noted with some amusement, was not in any sense connected to the copper coil, and therefore is not powered by it.
The whole article is a pretty good chuckle – concentrating upon the absolute uselessness of this piece of crap. It sells in the UK about $139. Surely, hip, sophisticated Americans wouldn’t fall for a hustle like this? Wrong!
The good news? You can now get the “Classic” model on sale for as low as $89.
The bad news? If you’re really gullible, you can get the Polished Gold model for $1999! And if I’ve offended you – you’re too damned dumb to be visiting this site, anyway!
“Too damn dumb to be visiting this site…”
TESTIFY BROTHER! You are 100% right on that score 🙂
Hey, Maybe AOL should sue them! I remember WAAAAAYYYYY back when I had my infamous Commodore computer and there was a Q-Link mag, BBS, etc. In fact, I THINK I might even had signed up for a lifetime membership. Yep,, doing a google search verifies it. They even had a multi-person universe with avatars and everything, played on Commodore’s !
Ahhh, the memories, when Computer owner manuals were 85% how to program the computer to do what YOU wanted it to do.
AC
“activated by a copper induction coil which picks up sufficient micro currents from your heart to power the pendant.”
My heart needs all the power it can draw. No power sapping devices for me. “My heart goes pitte-/patter every time we hug, my dear.Whats that new necklace you’re wearing?”
Energy frequencies ? It corrects the thickness of your wallet, that’s for sure…
Damn. I’m definitely in the wrong line of work…
I got a rock that does the same thing… can i get it gold plated too?
Man I laughed so hard at this one:
The QLink is encoded with Sympathetic Resonance Technology or SRT™, a pioneering branch of quantum physics. This makes it act as a tuning fork that resonates with the ideal note at which the body’s energy system should hum.
http://tinyurl.com/2yrsog
All well and good. But if you want to sell it to audiophiles, you would have to charge at least $3,000.
The only thing I find seriously wrong with this thing is that I didn’t come up with it so I could rake in cash from the world’s overpaid idiots.
It does have one use. Grandpa uses this gizmo to rub over Grandma’s pacemaker so he can “get lucky.”
This thing will wipe a Nissan i-key clean.
PT Barnum would be proud.
Actually it does work. And it works twice as well if you leave it under a power pyramid at night with vials of Willard Water nearby. Just don’t get it too close to a microwave oven – when it starts resonating with the radar tube there’s no telling what might happen.
#12, yup. Is that what happened to your’s too? Damn, can’t rub it over the ole lady’s chest anymore now. Kids today. No faith in that modern technology stuff.
#2 – You put a smile on my face with your post.
To your main point, yes, I think AOL could take action against them… but I doubt any of the old school management is there anymore to even remember their past.
Personally, Q-Link was on the back of the GeOS floppy that came with the C64 my family got when I was in first grade (in 1985). The multiperson universe you’re thining of is Club Caribe, which I ran events on for a period of time. WordsAway.com is the successor to Club Caribe, and LucasArts had a hand in creating Club Caribe.
Are these things offered for sale by the same people who advertise a bracelet ‘thingy’ that apparently has massive positive effects on humans – mind, body or soul – but I don’t know which because they never say what it’s supposed to do throughout the entire advertisement?
I find that pretty clever. How can anyone claim it’s a scam if the people selling it never claim it actually does anything and the shills wearing the ‘thingys’ never say anything about what is does except, “I love it! It’s wonderful!”.
I’ve also seen an advertisement where you rub a cannister on your forehead but they never say what it does, either. The shills say it’s great but they don’t mention why it’s great and I haven’t yet figured out why I would want to buy a cylinder to rub on my head.
Perhaps I’m getting too old to understand modern advertisements or maybe I need one of those wrist thingys or maybe I need to rub a cylinder on my forehead….