I never thought I’d be quoting from a Dear Abby column, but the question sent in yesterday was just too funny to ignore…
DEAR ABBY: I have a 4-year-old who tends to act up from time to time. I have tried “time-outs” and even soft spanking and have taken his privileges away. Nothing seems to work. However, I have found that smashing one of his small toys with a hammer works well. Do you see any danger in this form of punishment? — YOUNG MOM IN OKLAHOMA
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hah owned
She only hit’s her stuff because she loves her.
@Bryan K
no, if she loved him, she’d buy him more todays and not smash them. She clearly hates her son, and hates being a young mother.
That’s toys, not todays (wtf? it’s late, or early, whatever.) anyways, she needs to lose her son. He should be in the safe hands of the Government. If this isn’t a case of mental abuse (or mental terrorism) I don’t know what is.
Thats really nothing to teach a child. Imagne what he will be like when he grows up.
Hmmm, comments there from people who obviously haven’t raised children. Boys can be very very hard to tame, and you have to find something that will convince them to toe the line. I watched my wife shread our sons magazines once… it got the point across. 🙂
2-5. So you’re all suggesting the kid should go unpunished for bad behaivor? no wonder we have so many criminals in this world.
I think if that works then do it, time outs simply don’t work specially if he/she is sent to her room [with all the toys and stuff], spanking could get you in jail (although I got spanked when I was small and never threw my parents in jail for that, but today’s kids are quite different), and taking them away for a while won’t solve things either, he/she knows he’ll eventually get them back.
I’d say not smash it with a hammer (after all it did cost money) but take the kid with you and a toy he likes, take it away from him and give it to a poor kid or something.
Either way, no one can give an impartial opinion because you don’t know how much of a pain the kid can be, except for a parent and specially his parents…
@rantsh
But then the child will just grow up hating poor people. I think hating hammers might be a bit better.
Bark collars work well on kids.
I suggest burning the toys. Then hand the kid a bible and tell him if he doesn’t behave and become a repressed, ultra right-wing conservative, he’ll be next…. IN HELL!!
(However, I wouldn’t suggest combining the two techniques. Smashing a burning toy with a hammer could send burning toy parts flying and burn down the trailer.)
Years ago I was helping my friend set up a new home theater system. Sometime while we were working my friend noticed his 5 year old son was happily pulling all the rubber buttons off of the new remote control.
My friend went to the kids room and got a small toy truck and smashed it flat under his foot. The kid screamed like he was being murdered. He sat him down and said “It feels really bad when someone breaks your things doesn’t it? Thats how you made daddy feel when you broke his remote”
You could see that the kid really understood. He is about 15 now and as far as I know, he has not become a serial killer.
Bill, that is a great story. Teach children by giving them a concrete example. What a novel concept.
There’s only one way to learn what “hot” means.
3- no, if she loved him, she’d buy him more todays and not smash them. She clearly hates her son, and hates being a young mother.
Comment by Micromause — 5/9/2007 @ 3:32 am
Yes, love = new toys. Especially as a reward for poor behavior. Wow…how could I have missed that one?
That’s toys, not todays (wtf? it’s late, or early, whatever.) anyways, she needs to lose her son. He should be in the safe hands of the Government. If this isn’t a case of mental abuse (or mental terrorism) I don’t know what is.
Holy Crap! What bubble do you live in? She is plainly frustrated trying to reign in her son’s bad behavior. It sounds like she’s tried a number of methods, and found one that, while harsh (in my mind), seems to have the (short-term) effect she’s wanting. However, she’s caring enough to have doubts about whether or not it’s really the right thing to do, and so she’s going to Abby about it. While I don’t think her improvised technique is a great idea (and some might say the same if she resorted to more “traditional” methods of giving his rear a good thwack)…she’s showing enough sense to question it and ask for advice about it. And given the response from Abby (if she takes it), then problem solved. I doubt you’re a parent, or you’re going to be a parent with horribly spoiled children that can’t take care of themselves. Nevermind that in your world, there wouldn’t be any parents, as all of the children would be put in the care of the Government when they made their first mistake.
Sorry…obviously the 3rd paragraph was a quote from #4. Didn’t get the “close-bold” to work apparently.
Eventually she’ll hit the kid and you’ll all be sorry.
Smashing his toys seems to punish the parent who purchased them, but if you must, please use eye protection!
I’ve found that holding the toys hostage works well. Though it has resulted in a few “unfortunate incidents” of decapitation and dismemberment for the most part it gets the point across.
“Be good or the TMX Elmo gets it”
or
“Now you don’t want to wake up next to a Barbie head do you?”
Maybe she should try tasering the boy.
Or maybe, after trying every thing she could think of that was more “acceptable”, and after the frustrated parent tried taking a stab in the dark and realized that it might be a excessive thing to do…maybe instead of just sticking with it, she’d ask someone for guidance, realizing that it might not be the right approach?
Oh wait…she already did that. Now people just want her kid taken away from her and compare it to beating the child or hating the child. Angel, you were joking about tasering, right? :p
Parents make mistakes. They all do. However you’re only hearing about this because she went to someone for help, thinking that this might not be the best way to handle things. Many parents would have just ran with it. Consider that before calling for the riot sqad.
I would make the toys Disappear…
Throw them AWAY, but not really.
And say to the child that the Toys ran away, and if he ACTS better, they may return.
To quote Bender (from Futurama): “If you want children beaten, you’ll have to do it yourself”.
ha Nice photoshop.
Whatever you do as a parent has to pass the ‘imitability’ test. In other words, anything you do, as a parent has to be worthy of imitation by your children. This is because kids eventually learn to deal with things the same way their parents do.
Is smashing things to get your way a conflict-resolution method you want your kid using when he is older? How about when he is big enough to smash something of yours when he doesn’t like something you do?
Kids deserve a better example than that. As for the comment about getting a kid to ‘toe the line’…. Well lots of things can make a kid do what you want him to. Many of them, such as this one, are not healthy.
For the record, I AM a parent – and a teacher.
Come on now – can you people not see that Abby has been pwned by both of the letters in that column? I’ve seen more believable stories in Penthouse Forum. Abby should just go with the flow and advocate the crazy shite that the fake letter writers send in.
Elmo must die!
Any mother that would take a hammer and smash her childs toys needs some real mental help. Perhaps this letter was her way of trying to reach out for that help. However, what if there comes a day when there are no toys left for her to smash with a hammer, what’s she going to do then? She’ll more than likely turn that hammer she smashed all the poor kids toys with on the child and smash him up too and then he’ll be another child murdered at the hands of his own mother. Some people don’t deserve to have children at all!