An Australian scientist called Wednesday for an end to the age-old tradition of cremation, saying the practice contributed to global warming.
Professor Roger Short said people could instead choose to help the environment after death by being buried in a cardboard box under a tree. The decomposing bodies would provide the tree with nutrients, and the tree would convert carbon dioxide into life-giving oxygen for decades, he said.
“Why waste all that carbon dioxide on your death?”
Short, a reproductive biologist at the University of Melbourne, said the contribution of cremation to harmful greenhouse gases was small, and he did not wish to prevent people from choosing how their body was disposed of according to their religion.
He suggested it would not be a bad idea to bequeath one’s body as food for a forest. “You can actually do, after your death, an enormous amount of good for the planet,” he said. “The more forests you plant, the better.”
I admit my first response to the beginning of the article was a chuckle. After reading it, it ain’t a bad idea. Fits in the category of acts an individual might choose towards a positive end.
But, in most Western nations, I wonder if you could ever get past the religious nutcases and pandering politicians to get “permission” for disposing of your body outside the rules – inside the box?
Don’t underestimate the political influence of the death industry in the West. SCI alone has almost $10 billion in assets. If there’s a profit to be had with anything death related, they own a significant share of it.
lol. I immediately thought of “The Integral Trees” by Larry Niven when I read this.
Umm, you science types seem to have missed one important fact:
If you dig “under” a tree to bury something, you damage the root structure. Between being provided some cellulite to grow on, or having roots to draw in moisture, I’d bet the tree would prefer water.
You want to help a tree? Piss on the ground near, but not on, it, or just leave it alone. They seem to have historically done just fine without human intervention.
As for what to do with the dead? Drop them in a Plasma Converter.
The best option is composting. Get a composting bin, put in coffee grounds, dirt, leaves and a dead body. Turn once a month.
I’ve long had the goal of getting back into the food chain as quickly as possible. My second choice would be to make it into the fossil record.
As to my first choice though, I would try to avoid wasting food, i.e. the meat that is currently me. I would ideally love to feed an endangered species, such as tigers. Of course there are problems with this. Animals that associate humans and food tend to fare badly.
So, after much thought, I think the best solution would be to strip me of all non-biodegradable materials, especially toxins like the mercury in my older fillings, fill my alimentary canal with sand to make me negatively bouyant, and chuck the meat that was once me in the ocean.
I’d probably prefer someplace with a deep and interesting food web, perhaps the coast of Alaska. Bits of me could feed crabs and fish and end up in bears and eagles and whales. That’d be cool.
For someone like myself who believes in death, this is the nearest thing to immortality I can think of.
#4 – I think the intent is to plant a young tree over the body, thus, expanding the forest, as well.
#2, feed the tree! (wait, wasn’t that an insult?)
#4 – That Plasma Converter is pretty close to how I want o be disposed of. Cremation isn’t going far enough, I want to be vaporized. I want my last act on this Earth to be to float up into the stratosphere as a greenhouse gas and contribute to Global Warming (TM).
I would agree. However, I suspect that there isn’t enough free space on the Earth to bury all the living people..
I want my last act on this Earth to be to float up into the stratosphere as a greenhouse gas and contribute to Global Warming
If there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.
Soylent Green.
…never mind that digging a hole 6ft deep next to a tree will damage it’s root system to the point that the tree will probably die in less than 4 weeks.
#13 – Improbus,
And, the quantity of Soylent Green available is always self-regulating to be just the right amount, by definition. It does have a high mercury content though …
There is a better name than Soylent Green though, long pork (or long pig). Funny that I got that from another SF story, this one by Heinlein. I think it was Farnham’s Freehold.
Why don’t we all adopt the Native American way of life. Hang the dead body up in a tree for the crows to feed on.
#14 see #7
Rather than being buried in a box to rot, along with all the embalming fluid required by some states, I would prefer being put through some kind of grinder. The remains could be composted and turned in to fertilizer and spread (or sprayed) on the forest floor. I also like the idea of feeding an endangered species – sort of Soylent Green for the zoo…
#18 – Gern Blanston,
Not bad on the humulch concept. It would work equally well for the ocean. We’d just call that chum. For feeding an endangered species, I was trying to imagine how to feed them in the wild. Perhaps, when I can just barely still walk, I could go to Churchill and walk among the polar bears (if any are left) or go to the Sundabarans (if the area is not underwater yet) and go for a nice walk at night in tiger country. The tigers there already hunt people with some degree of frequency, 500 tigers eating 300 people per year isn’t much of a diet for the tigers. But, by that time I’d be fairly easy prey and could do my part.
Becoming Purina Fish Chow is probably still the most practical. Now, with your ground long pork idea, I’m leaning toward chumming.
Why doesn’t he advocate killing people too? It would reduce the amount of carbon going into the air by several tons per person.
14…roots are like branches…you can cut half of them away and the tree will be fine. At least, that’s true in the northern half of the country.
I agree with the idea. Too much value is placed on a rotting corpse when the the true value is it’s legacy in the memories of the living.
Unfortunately, the price of planting a corpse tree will end up being $6000 or more.
#15
Ambrose Bierce had the right idea in Oil of Dog
So now you know!!!
From a friend on another blog:
“The religion of environmentalism is every bit as intrusive, totalitarian, and controlling of every facet of daily life as Islam.”
# 24 so is the religion of poor education or lazy ignorance. It is more intrusive, totalitarian and controlling of every facet of daily life then any accepted religion. Excepting you join by default, unless you don’t rely on others to think for you and you learn how to learn.
#24 – Frank IBC,
Um … the rest of us were’nt talking about life here. We were talking about death and what to do with the leftover meat sack.
Environmentalism is not a religion in that there is no faith. It’s more of a recognition that we are not alone on the planet and a desire not to be the last on the planet.
s/were’nt/weren’t/
Sorry, should have spell checked that.
Environmentalism is not a religion in that there is no faith.
Ha ha, that’s hilarious, M.S.
Am I the only who is starting to get a little tired of everything little thing in society being assessed for it’s impact on “global warming?” Setting aside the question of whether human are contributing to any warming that might be present, many of these things are such silly little components. Part of the reason why I consider this the latest socio-environmental hysteria.
#26 – No Faith!?! Check out anyone who believes Algores’ version of Global Warming (TM). There’s unreasoning faith.
Happy 420! I’m getting drunk because I’m job hunting, and may need to pass a piss/hair/skin/fuck test soon.
I’m with Chong: I want my friends to roll me up and smoke me. Preferably, not mixed with any Labrador.
Smoke up, toke up, and pass it to your friends…
Everyone should read the book “Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers” by Mary Roach. It is very fascinating and will show you what happens to you after death, now and in years past. She also writes about the pros and cons of many of the different ways you can have your body disposed of after death. Some may find it emotionally disturbing, but overall this book is smart and funny and not at all disgusting.