High blood pressure is not the result of job stress, idiot drivers or your wife’s cooking, it’s because of automated telephone systems designed to save the company money at the expense of customer’s sanity.
Here are some samples from this vital, lifesaving service. Their list is categorized by company type.
GMAC 800‑200‑4622 Repeatedly press # at each prompt.
MBNA 800‑421‑2110 Say “customer service” at each prompt.
GMAC Mortgage 800‑766‑4622 Press 0 at each prompt.
US IRS 800‑829‑1040 Don’t press or say anything.
Dell 800‑999‑3355 Press 0 repeatedly.
PayPal (toll-free)888‑221‑1161 Say “Agent,” then say “Accounts”.
Cingular Wireless 800‑331‑0500 Press *## at each prompt.
Playstation 800‑345‑7669 Press 0.And if talking to a human doesn’t help,
Blue Cross FEP 800‑451‑7602 Press 0 3.
The best is when you get shuffled around by humans, to different departments for 20 minutes, then are greeted …. by a dial tone. That would cause anyone to go on a shooting rampage.
I spent several years as an engineer/programmer (cat herder, etc) for a company that did interactive voice response systems. (IVR.)
I hate them too, because most are VERY poorly done. And obviously, many companies have cut corners by getting rid of some customer service people… HOWEVER, as a minor defense, think about how often you call a company and get a BUSY signal these days. That’s pretty much NEVER. For many companies (practically all of my former customers) the alternative to the IVR system wasn’t a human, it was a busy signal. If that’s what you prefer, let the company know. Otherwise consider that wading through those voice systems, as annoying as they are, is better for most customers than getting a busy signal or no answer. It’s simply impossible for any company to hire enough customer service reps to immediately answer every call from every customer every time.
I don’t mind one or two voice prompts, but some have you jump through layer after layer of options only to be disconnected or have to wait endlessly to speak with an rep anyway. And I would rather push buttons, these systems that make you talk to them suck ass.
As much as people complain about IVR systems they don’t hate them enough to pay more for the product or service which would allow the company to hire humans to direct calls to the appropriate department. I would also warn you that attempting to bypass IVR systems like this will usually get you to the wrong human, one who can’t help you other than to transfer you to the right department where you sit on hold behind all the people who did follow the IVR prompts.
2. A very Minor Defense for sure. Why should I waste my time listening to Muzak at HP for 20 minutes in the hope that I just might get to talk to a human. Forget it, I’ll take a busy signal. What you suggest is nothing more than a dressed up busy signal. And what is with the VR software anyway. I hail from the Midwest originally, I have no perceptible accent, and have, on many occasion been told I have a good voice for broadcasting, in fact have done voice overs for TV and Radio. So why doesnt the software understand me? How bad is it for people from the South?
I second #5, all VR software is usleless. To make things worse many of such systems simply fall into the “death loop” if they do not understand you. Tried once and spent more than 15 minutes “looping”. Hence, ignore parts of the article where for some companies it instructs you to SAY something. Most likely result: aggravation. General method I used for many of these, if prompted to say anything, keep madly pressing 0 (or anything else), eventually system will give up (or was I lucky?).
Speaking of voice response. Google’s new 800 directory assistance seems to have the best VR software I’ve ever had to deal with. It understands real words in a situation that isn’t limited to a few things or even a few 100 possibilities.
And since it connects you to the call it seems to be a way to get free long distance because it works just as well over a land line.
800-466-4411
Voice response blows even if it understands what I say. I often do these things at work and it pisses me off have to say something out loud when I could just as easily push a button. Furthermore, at work I can’t keep responding with “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you” until I get a human. Which, by the way, seems to work every time. Is VR designed to respond to anger in a different way?
8. That is seriously funny. I thought I was the only one who carried on a one-way conversation with VR. With IBM the voice will say “I did not get that”, and after the 3rd or fourth time my response is something like, G*d Da**mit you stupid G*d D**mn piece of Sh*t. What the F**k is wrong with you were you programmed by a ……you get the point.
8. Sorry, obviously I have some anger issues.
I usually wait and see if there’s a menu item for what I need. If not, I usually keep hitting 0 (zero) and often get routed to a ‘real person (TM)’.
J/P=?
Voice response systems are poor at the best of times – especially if you have an accent (like me). #8 made a point that I’ve read about a few times – there do seem to be a systems out there that redirect you to a Customer Service Agent if you swear at them for long enough. However, a quick bit of research suggests that there also appear to be systems that hang up on you for the same offense. You just can’t win!
any system that makes people dumb down to make it effective is not a system worth having.