This was in an email forwarded to me. As we start receiving our W2s and spending money on software and accountants to fill out our tax forms, this seems oddly appropriate. Be sure to read all the way to the end.

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he’s fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won’t be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He’s good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he’s laid.

Put these words
upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me
to my doom…”

When he’s gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

AND

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Expense Tax
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENT: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class
in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?

And I still have to “press 1” for English



  1. Mike says:

    Yes, the world is more complicated now. Your point is? Do you really want to go back to 100-200 years ago? Give me a break.

  2. Uncle Dave says:

    I wouldn’t mind getting rid of many of these taxes which get used for things like unneeded wars and such.

  3. Rob says:

    I *would* like to go back to 100-200 years ago! As long as I can bring with me my laptop, a wifi card that can make a connection forward through time, a generator, and a few tankerfuls of gas.

    🙂

  4. Vtorch says:

    LOL….great poem!

    Yes, this country is still taxed to death. Cut taxes more….that’s what I say!!!

  5. Grover Norquist says:

    I’ll fill the bathtub.

  6. Dwright says:

    And all these enemies of ours hate us for our freedom.

  7. ECA says:

    Its not cutting taxes…that will help.
    Its taxing those that can AFORD it, MORE, and leaving the poor alone.

    They say that the TOP 1% pay the most taxes, but 1% of poor wages, and 1% of rich wages, ISNT equal.
    Until the top has to fight just to make HOME payments/rent, and food, and insurrance….It isnt equal.

  8. Gig says:

    The poor pay very few taxes and use lots of services.

    Damn straight 1% of poor wages isn’t equal to 1% of rich wages. 1% of rich is a whole lot more money.

    17% FLAT TAX with no tax for households incomes below $40,000 is the way to go.

  9. BHK says:

    #1 – in terms of taxation and government interference, I’d like to go back to about 1840 – before government killed us with taxes and helped corporations kill us with regulations and prevention of free association.

    #7 – Either way it’s theft. The end does not justify the means.

  10. Smartalix says:

    8,

    I’m with you, but I would refine it thusly:

    • 15% income tax NO EXEMTIONS OF ANY KIND.
    • 5% National Sales Tax.
    • 25% Inheritance tax on estates in excess of $5 million dollars. Only charitable or educational donation deductions will be allowed.
    • A modified line-item veto, guaranteed constitutional. The President may pass a bill with (a) line-item veto(s), but then the bill goes back to congress where they must vote again on each item, overcoming the line-item veto in the same manner they would a full-document veto.

    Just my two cents (tax-exempt).

  11. Garry King says:

    And the author only listed about 10% of the taxes we all pay – directly or indirectly.

    Both political parties should be very ashamed!

  12. Joe says:

    your only promised 2 things in life

    death & Taxes

    It was funny when I was younger but not anymore

  13. Dallas says:

    Great poem, yet troubling to see how much we get taxed. Who ever came up with the idea of taxing the exchange of money was a brilliant republican.

  14. Esih says:

    Taxes are what make the government and modern society run. The problem is not too many taxes but too many ways for creeps to avoid taxes and tax money wasted for no gain. Back in the 50’s Fat-Cats paid 95% marginal tax. Now it is 35% or less. No one should be able to clear more than a million a year, no matter what they do. I don’t care if someone gets rich, just not at the expense of the little guy.

    I get sick of people bitching about the taxes they pay yet still gobbling at the public trough. If you object to taxes then don’t use the things that taxes support – like roads, cheap food and fuel, airlines/airports, courts, elections, public education, military readiness, and a million other things.

    If you want civilization, you have to pay for it!

  15. Skeptical Steve says:

    #14 Put a ceiling on what people can earn??

    Why don’t you just move to Cuba?

  16. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #15

    YEAH BABY – The old “why don’t you move to X” canard…

    Where X equals “a place I know fuck all about”

    That’s some smooth debate skill baby!

  17. ECA says:

    14,
    civilization ADDed these things, you dont need most of them to live…
    Food shelter and heat….TAXED to the hilt.

    Its not the tax, its knowing WHERe the money is going, and WHERE it ends up..2 different things/places.

    There is so much PORK barrel spending that ISNT written up, that you wont believe where most goes.
    In my opinion, when you cut, you START at the top, and work down…
    Lets figure soemthing…
    They just passed the NEW min wage bills.
    THIS alone will raise the cost of living, at least 10%.
    Now, think of the person at TOP wage in BK… HE wont get a raise. He is now looseing money.

    I worked in retail for 8 years.
    when I started…
    $2.65 was start, and top was $7
    When I quit…
    start was $6, and top was $8.65

    start went up $3.35 and the top only went up $1.65 Think about that..

  18. joshua says:

    I agree with Gig and Smartalix….but I think Gig’s exemptions for under 40,000.00 a year are more sensible. The middle class depends on mortage tax write offs to stay afloat, if all exemptions were eliminated the under 40 thousand group would be hit the hardest and they are the least able to survive the hit.
    I am going to put in a link that shows who pays what. What I found interesting was that since Bush has been in office, the figure under which no one pays taxes has gone up by 4 thousand a year, but the percentage that the bottom taxable group pays has dropped almost 1%.
    Of course even those under 30 thousand a year pay Social Security taxes, even though they pay no income tax. SST can hurt when you only earn less than 30 grand a year.
    The other thing is that the top 1%(those earning over 328,000.00 a year, pays almost 37% of all income tax…..and when you expand that to the top 5%(those earning over 137,000.00) the top 5% pays over 94% of ALL income taxes.
    The tables on the link page are from tax year 1999 to 2004 and are interesting to look at.

    http://www.ntu.org/main/page.php?PageID=6

    If we went to a flat tax, with no tax for under 40,000.00, the goverment would get the same amount of taxes it gets now in the income tax area, but state goverments would get a bonanza from sales taxes and such due to the under 40 grand people shaving more discreationary income.

    The other change that is desperatly needed is to raise the cap to 1 million dollars on paying Social Security taxes. This would put the SSA in the black for as far as the eye can see in the number of years.

  19. Winston says:

    Hey dave, check out fairtax.org, you may like it!

  20. George of the city says:

    A million aint what it used to be.

  21. ECA says:

    16,
    IT CAN BE…

    Think please…
    If you can only EARN so much, they property values will go down..
    Food prices can go DOWN…
    ALOT of things can go DOWN…

  22. ECA says:

    14,
    do you REALLY know what makes the world go ROUND, in the USA…

    PROMISES…and Money in the pocket…
    NOt money for the poor, not a new business that hires 300 people….

    this country is as corrupt as MOST of the middle east countries… we just legalize it…

  23. TheGlobalWarmer says:

    #14 – You just illustrated one of the biggest problems with Liberals. You believe it’s not possible to get rich without screwing someone else. Also, overtaxing the “rich” simply removes incentive to work and advance, since we no longer get to benefit from it. I would agree in principle that no one should really get a salary over a million since one person can only do so much, however if you own a company that grows in value while doing business ethically, you deserve every penny of that increased value no matter how great it is.

    A reasonable tax burden is one thing, but when the average American pays 50% of their income to taxes, we’re into the unreasonable and unnecessary range. Cut out the corruption and pork and the same level of government services could be provided on half that.

  24. Thomas says:

    #14
    > No one should be able to clear more than a million
    > a year, no matter what they do. I don’t care
    > if someone gets rich, just not at the expense
    > of the little guy.

    You are a perfect example of a liberal that has absolutely no clue as to how economics really works. Economics is not a zero sum game. Basically, you are unable and unwilling to accept the very concept of one person having more than another. The amounts are just a red herring.

  25. ECA says:

    26,
    And if corps would compete, insted of being bought up by each other…And hold prices equal to each other.
    If corps would have reasonable profit margins.
    IF corps DIDNT try to rip more money out of our pockets…
    If corps would be paying 1/2 for the taxes for the USA…AT LEAST…

  26. Thomas says:

    #27
    You are another another clueless liberal that does not really get economics. Go to college and take a few courses on microeconomics. Learn how economics really works.

    > And hold prices equal to each other

    The term for that is collusion. People claim the oil companies do this very thing.

    > If corps would have reasonable profit margins

    Who defines “reasonable”? What happens when a corporatation hits the magic “reasonable” profit marker? Do they just stop? Is “reasonable” only defined on profits as opposed to revenues and costs?

    First understand that a business can be a corporation, a mom-and-pop shop or an individual. Yes, individuals are also businesses and have similar goals. Businesses want to maximize profits or said another way, they want to make more than they spend. Taxes are a cost. Thus, businesses strive to find ways to minimize this cost. That is why tax *avoidance* is perfectly legal while tax *evasion* is not.

    Raising taxes on the rich does not bring in more tax revenue. Bush’s tax cut has thoroughly proven that over the last four years. (A corrallary is that incresed tax revenue does not equate to a lower deficit if you spend that additional tax revenue and then some). As my economics professor explained:

    “A $40,000 a year guy is not going to out smart a billionaire when it comes to taxes. The rich will just hire armies of accountants and lawyers to find more ways to protect their money from the government.”

  27. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    Ayn Rand was an idiot.

    That ends my contribution to this thread.

  28. BgScryAnml says:

    #29 You have yet to make a contribution to this thread.

  29. Hal Jordan says:

    There’s absolutely no reason for any other tax than VAT that’s added to the goods and services you buy. The rest is just plain greed and inefficiency.


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