Now I just need to find someone to bribe me…
Do I Need to Report This Income?
Q. My sugar-daddy (er… loving husband) died and I had to pay to collect the reward (er… life insurance). Do I have to report this?
A. Yes.
Life insurance proceeds paid to you because of the death of the insured person are not taxable unless the policy was turned over to you for a price. This is true even if the proceeds were paid under an accident or health insurance policy or an endowment contract.
Q. This year, I’ve been taking bribes to keep the caviar smuggling ring off the FBI radar. Do I have to report this?
A. Yes.
If you receive a bribe, include it in your income.
Q. I ran for office this year and used campaign contributions to pay for my second cousin’s bodyguards. Do I have to report this?
A. Yes.
These contributions are not income to a candidate unless they are diverted to his or her personal use. To be exempt from tax, the contributions must be spent for campaign purposes or kept in a fund for use in future campaigns… Excess campaign funds transferred to an office account must be included in the officeholder’s income on Form 1040, line 21, in the year transferred.
Q. I found an abandoned car and kept it while the person who lost the vehicle presumably wept. Do I have to report this?
A. Yes.
If you find and keep property that does not belong to you that has been lost or abandoned (treasure-trove), it is taxable to you at its fair market value in the first year it is your undisputed possession.
Uncle Dave,
That is hilarious! I also remember when Minnesota passed a law some years ago to tax the marijuana dealers were caught with…
Revenu Canada already doing the tax drug dollars thing.
This big time dealer was busted with X pounds of cocaine with a street value of a few millions, put in jail, etc.
Some bean counter extrapolated the street value, how many such pounds per year, and mailed the guy in prison to have to pay a few millions in tax dollars.
Made the news because taxable money is laundered money…so I guess the criminal was happy to pay up.
Too lazy to find the link…made me lol a bit.
I deal virtual drugs on Second Life on a street corner.
Do I have to report my Linden dollars?
I bought World of warcraft gold with real money.. but my character died. Can I report that as a gambling loss?
So my tax return should read:
cocaine sales $45,000
abandoned Ford Pinto $1.96
bribes $50,000
campaign funds used for hookers $3,500
I’ll be sure to file.
Hey, you Americans don’t have to pay tax on your labour or salary because direct un-aportioned taxes are unconstitutional:
Aaron Russo’s America – Freedom to Fascism
Lucky b*ggers
GREAT
#8, Andy
You don’t know what you are talking about. Income tax is legal and has been upheld by the courts numerous times.
#10 – Obviously, you are right – and obviously that won’t stop the “patriot” nutballs from railing against pay tax…
Cheap bastards are cheap bastards no matter what…
But I do have a question… If I bring you a lawn mower and you trade me the mower for a mountain bike, then I have given you a mower and I have a bike and no money changed hands… There is no gain, no loss, thus nothing to tax… Right?
I get a paycheck each week… They tax it as income. But I didn’t make the money. I traded time and labour. There is no gain, just an exchange…
So, while I personally believe the rich and to a lessor extent the middle class are undertaxed (putting me squarely in the minority) it still raises the question…. Why am I paying income tax in the first damn place?
#11 – Yeah. We’re cheap bastards and so are people who refuse to give up their wallets to muggers.
And as far as your bartering is concerned, you presumably value the lawn mower more than the bike (or you would not have traded it), so you owe tax on that extra value.
The same goes for the labor/money exchange. In exchange for your skills, talents and time, you receive money which is presumably worth more to you than the skills, talents, and time. Therefore you must give up some of your property (money) so that other people that you don’t know can benefit from your skills, talents, and time. If you are a cheap bastard and refuse to give up your property regardless of the reasons, then you will be arrested, prosecuted, imprisoned and if you are raped or killed while in prison, you deserve it because you are a cheap bastard!
#11
The argument that you are trading your time for money and therefore that is not income is an interesting argument and I do agree with it, I wouldn’t want to be the one to try it.
There is also some question about whether the income tax amendment was properly ratified or if then Secretary of State Philander C. Knox lied about the state legislature vote in Kentucky (I may be wrong on the state), and therefore the income tax is not legal. Once again, I would not want to be the one to try it in court.
Income Tax is legal and has been properly ratified by 36 of 48 states. As of February 03, 1913. Two more states later ratified it as well. This is also known as the XVI Amendment.
Also, the IRS has compiled a list of “frivolous arguments” that may cause even higher penalties.
http://tinyurl.com/y4b6uw
If want to see something humorous, ask an IRS person which specific part of the tax code says you must pay. You may not get an answer. If you do, ask another one and chances are you will get a different answer. Then ask a third. My point on this is how big and bloated it has become. That is why it is so expensive to comply with it, as no one really knows all of what is says.
Around 1980, I was a programmer at a small software company that created tax planning software. At least once a month they would send in reports to the IRS of errors they found in the code. Also, it was not uncommon to have one section of the code say you calc tax on something one way, another section tell you exactly the opposite. It was a coin toss as to which to use. Funny thing was you could be fined as a taxpayer for picking wrong.
#3 and #6…….I just read an article about tax on gaming. Second Life and World of Warcraft were speciffically mentioned. Apparently all of those things you earn or gain in those games ARE legally considered income. You can thank those that sell the stuff on eBay for that ruling.
Also….barter was ruled by the Supreme Court as a taxable enterprise. It came about several years ago when the bartering clubs got going as a way to exchange goods and services for other goods and services and save the tax.
I’m reminded about a situation years ago. A Toronto hooker was trying to have prostitution legalized. She tried to declare her earnings as taxable revenue but the Tax Department didn’t accept her occupation as a prostitute. She figured if the Tax Department accepted it then that would gain traction to overturn the prostitution laws.
End result was the Tax people had to accept her occupation, she had to file a tax form, and prostitution was still illegal. The court reasoned that this was earned income and therefore taxable. The occupation was only for statistical purposes and otherwise useless. Her tax information could not be used against her though because of confidentiality.
#12 – The taxpayer as mugging victim bullshit is… well… bullshit…
The mugger doesn’t use your money to maintain a standing army to defend you, a police force, a fire department, an education system, roads, hospitals, sewage system, etc…. And you use that stuff so pay up.
While I posed a theoretical question, I do not object to paying my fair share… The only thing there really is to debate is what is a fair share?
Well, according to that video it’s used to pay off the interest on the Government’s loan from the Federal Reserve.
But I don’t know what I’m talking about.