To say that is a headline I never imagined I’d write is a bit of an understatement.

Who stole Jesus’ foreskin?

Just what the holy foreskin was doing in the priest’s house—in a shoebox at the back of his wardrobe, no less—and why and how it disappeared has been debated ever since the relic vanished. Some suspect the village priest sold it for a heavenly sum; others say it was stolen by thieves and ended up on the relics black market; some even suggest Satanists or neo-Nazis are responsible. But the most likely culprit is an unlikely one: the Vatican.

But if it had survived, it would have been only a matter of time before someone wanted to clone it. And that could have given the Second Coming an entirely new meaning.



  1. Roc Rizzo says:

    Oy vey!
    And here I thought that the Mohel saved those things up, put them together and made a purse that, when rubbed, became a suitcase!

  2. WokTiny says:

    Wasn’t there an episode of Star Trek TNG wherein the Klingons cloned their exaulted one?

    kind of an odd notion.

    I find it hard to believe such a relic exists, but I’d be more interested in the nature of the DNA, considering the virgin birth, than in cloning it.

  3. SN says:

    Have you looked under your couch cushions?! That’s where I usually find crap I’ve lost.

  4. Improbus says:

    Good grief! Where do you find this stuff?

  5. tallwookie says:

    that is the strangest damn story ever

    ps – i wish my power would come back on – go PSE go

  6. James Hill says:

    Probably in the same place the Virgin Mary’s hymen is.

  7. Raff says:

    It’ll probably show up on Ebay before long.

  8. Gary Marks says:

    Jeez — I remember the good old days when you used to send me this stuff through email, Uncle Dave. Now I have to hear about it on the street 😉

  9. joshua says:

    Ok Uncle Dave…..I think this is your weirdest story yet. You really HAVE to quit reading those fringe sites 🙂

  10. Jägermeister says:

    The rumor has it that Jeffrey Dahmer used it to spice his soup.

  11. It’s true that Catholics have a bizarre fascination with relics but anyone who gives this story any credibility is just like a deplorably simple-minded medieval believer.

  12. Uncle Patso from the Midwest says:

    Okay, the Shar Pei is obvious — the golfer clip art I don’t get… Maybe if I played golf it would be obvious?

  13. Uncle Dave says:

    Golfer calling “FORE”
    The dog’s “skin”

  14. Roc Rizzo says:

    That Fore-skin metaphor is VERY weak!

  15. Mr. Fusion says:

    #13, I hope you sleep well tonight after that one.


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