This is hilarious!

I, Left Gatekeeper

What is the theory of the crime, according to the 9/11 Truth movement?

Strikingly, there is no obvious answer to that question, since for all the many articles about “Able Danger” and the witnesses who heard explosions at Ground Zero, there is not — at least not that I could find — a single document anywhere that lays out a single, concrete theory of what happened, who ordered what and when they ordered it, and why. […] But the funny thing is, when you put together all of those disparate theories, you get the dumbest story since Roman Polanski’s Pirates.

The specifics vary, but the basic gist of what They Say Happened goes something like this:

A group of power-hungry neocons, led by Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Bush and others and organizationally represented by groups like the Project for the New American Century, seeks to bring about a “Pearl-Harbor-like event” that would accelerate a rightist revolution, laying the political foundation for invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq.

Your basic Reichstag fire scenario, logical enough so far. Except in this story, the Reichstag fire is an immensely complicated media hoax; the conspirators plot to topple the World Trade Center and pin a series of hijackings on a group of Sunni extremists with alleged ties to Al Qaeda.

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  1. joshua says:

    Now….this was much better Uncle Dave……really damn funny. The sad part is the 9/11 nutjobs don’t seem to know that 99% of the world is laughing AT them.

  2. joshua says:

    Oh….and Smartalix…..I would hope that if it was ever proved that any American in a leadership position actually KNEW that 9/11 was going to happen and just stood by and watched…..they would be drawn and quartered on prime time television in front of the Capital building.

    I remember what it was like when Bush won in 2000….the month and a half of uncertainity about the winner….the lack of a proper transistion…..the *practical jokes* played by the Clinton people in the West wing, costing the taxpayer millions of dollars replacing communications lines and devices that were sabotaged. Six weeks of uncertainty….The Democrats refusing to approve Cabiney officers….I am not Bush lover, I voted for him, I still wouldn’t vote for either of his opponets, but all the jacking off by the Democrats for several months after the new President was inaunagurated…..do you suppose that it could have had some effect on how fast the new administration got up to speed?

    Neither side here has any room to accuse the other of not knowing anything…..a lot of mistakes were made, before Bush and after he was elected, none of these jerks(Clinton and his team, and Bush and his team) have any right to point fingers. They ALL fucked up!!!

  3. Smartalix says:

    Joshua,

    You are confusing dissatisfaction with Bush for a support of the Democrats. Frankly, I think they are a bunch of whiny losers. I wouldn’t vote for Hilary on a bet. We need a third party, or some people with integrity and guts to take over the ones we currently have.

    But the fact that the opposition is clueless and spineless doesn’t forgive Bush his transgressions. It will take us as long to overcome the damage he has done to our image and reputation in the world as it will to recover from his domestic policies.

  4. AB CD says:

    >all the jacking off by the Democrats for several months after the new >President was inaunagurated…..do you suppose that it could have had >some effect on how fast the new administration got up to speed?

    Not helping with the transition hurt them, but I think the national security guys were briefed in full. The bigger problem was not getting a full cabinet and undersecretaries approved by the Senate.

  5. Zen Brown says:

    Yup, Dave. It’s easier to swallow that the Supreme Chancellor in V for Vendetta can murder 80,000 for power than to believe that the Bush Administration could orchestrate this attack against its own citizens. Maybe I’ll call you Baby Dave, because I think you were just born yesterday.

  6. Uncle Dave says:

    #35: Where exactly have I said I believe any of this? Did you notice the comment that’s under the picture on the post? Generally, I post things on this because it is newsworthy on a certain perverse level and because, as I said, so much of it is hilarious.

    While I think Bush & Co did an awful lot to insure we went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq, they are just too inept to pull off something like the conspiracy theorists suggest.

    Having said all that, there seems to have been something odd about the way WTC7 came down. But that’s as far as I’m willing to go.

  7. Mike Voice says:

    36Generally, I post things on this because it is newsworthy on a certain perverse level and because, as I said, so much of it is hilarious.

    Yes, indeed.

    I had some time to kill, after reading the linked story and some of the comments here… so I watched the Loose Change 2nd Edition – again – to see if it was as wacky as I remembered it being. It was.

    Ashcroft stopped flying commercial jets just before 9/11, due to the security threat [00:04:46]

    Put options are placed on UA, AA and Boeing just days before 9/11 [00:05:28 – 00:06:03]

    SF mayor Willie Brown gets a personal call from Condi Rice warning him to cancel a flight planned for 9/11 [00:06:20]

    Military exercises send jets to Alaska, Canada, and North Carolina – leaving only 14 jets to protect the entire continental US [00:07:16 – 00:07:30]

    yada yada yada

    Bombs were planted during security drills which evacuated sections of the WTC buildings [00:53:40]

    Cleveland airport was evacuated on 9/11 because a hijacked plane was going to land. Flight 93 landed, and about 200 people taken off the plane and moved to the evacuated NASA building. About 200 people would equal roughly equal the combined number of passengers on the four planes which crashed on 9/11 [00:56:00 – 01:00:00]

    Plane which was supposedly used as flight 93 was later spotted – still in use by UA – by a UA employee. [01:05:00]

    None of the cell-phone calls could have been made. The voices were simulated by a government research project [01:08:50 – 01:10:30]

    9 of the hijackers are still alive [1:10:38]

    Bin Laden’s confession on video tape is a government fake [1:12:20]

    167-billion in gold is missing from depositories under the WTC, and over 100-million in illegal insider trading was done on WTC computers right before the towers came down. [01:14:30 – 01:17:30]

    So – our government “disappeared” a couple-hundred passengers from 4 airliners, made over $100-million in illegal stock manipulations, and stole $167-Billion in gold… and no one is talking. 🙂

  8. Tom says:

    “Now….this was much better Uncle Dave……really damn funny. The sad part is the 9/11 nutjobs don’t seem to know that 99% of the world is laughing AT them. ”

    Joshua, where did you come up with that statistic. I just read a CNN pole that said quite the opposite. Another on MSNBC. The CNN pole is from NOV. 10th 2004 and the question is: Do you believe there is a US Govt cover up surrounding 9-11?

    Yes 87%
    No 13%

    4023 votes cast.

    That was 2 years ago, In another poll, Ohio University its 36%. Thats every 3rd person you pass on the street. Conspiracy whacko.

    http://newspolls.org/story.php?story_id=55

    Go ahead and laugh.

  9. Smith says:

    #38 “That was 2 years ago, In another poll, Ohio University its 36%. Thats every 3rd person you pass on the street. Conspiracy whacko.”

    Right. And every 4th person you pass on the street has an IQ below 89.

    You actually point to a serious flaw in the Democratic form of government. Do you really think that more than 10% of those believing that “the government did it” have actually studied the “evidence” provided by the Conspiracy whackos?

  10. joshua says:

    #38…..Tom…..geez dude…..it wasn’t meant as a serious statistic…..sit down, take your tin foil hat off, loosen your tie and relax man!!


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