DailyBulletin.com – Baby names get bizarre — I’m reminded of the song, A boy Named Sue. With some of these names you kind of think that these parents seriously resent their children and want them to be ridiculed out of spite. Why else do this?
If, for example, millions of people saw your dad declare his love for your mom while jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey’s couch, it’s a safe bet that the name on your birth certificate will not be your biggest problem in life. In fact, little Suri Cruise infant daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes actually has one of the more normal-sounding of the celebrity-ba names. Consider the other members of that aforementioned class: Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter of Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller); Apple Blythe Alison (daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay’s Chris Martin); Banjo Taylor (Rachel Griffith’s son), Coco (daughter of Courteney Cox and David Arquette); Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee’s son), Shiloh Nouvel (daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt), and most bizarre of all, Nicolas Cage’s not-quite-1-year-old son, Kal-el.
Now, where have we heard that name before? Oh, that’s right. Kal-el was the Kryptonian birth name of Superman.
Why do it?
How about the late Frank Zappa’s children’s names?
1. Moon Unit
2. Dweezil
3. Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
4. Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen
From Wikipedia
“As a guest on “The Tonight Show,” chatting with guest-host Jay Leno, Zappa was asked why he had given his children such unusual names. Zappa answered, in a casual tone of voice, “Because I wanted to!” When asked the same question by Joan Rivers, he urged her to “consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph.” In an interview with Arsenio Hall Zappa said that if their names ever gave them problems, it would be because of the last name.“
Drugs…
Just to set the record straight, Frank Zappa was a very active and vocal anti-drug crusader. He often brag that he didn’t need drugs to be so wierd.
Parents wanting to show their uniqueness…
I don’t think its going to be the problem you think it is. Every generation will have its do’s and don’ts, and for this one, names aren’t going to matter as much, regardless of the particular names. Popular music is so full of non-traditional names these days, especially via hip-hop (which is, by the numbers, the popular music of ALL america’s youth).
Imagine 30 years ago if a 10 year old boy walked into class with an ear pierced. Today, it’s a big yawn.
Personally, I think the trend towards unique names (both first and last) is great and should be encouraged. The whole concept of last names is ridiculous. Imagine in the 1500’s when the tax collector came by (or priest, or whatever) and said, hey you John, the guy who shoes horses, you from now on are John Smith. Then 20 years later, his son, Edward, the butcher is, Edward Smith. Yeah, real logical.
Oh, yeah, how wonderful it is to trace your family back to the original horseshoe king, himself! Ah, tradition! That is unless you are the 50% of the population that is female, where your last name you were born with has no significance because when you marry, you become the property of the husbands family, and take that last name.
In summary (jumping off my soapbox), the traditional naming system (both first and last names) is archaic, sophmoric and without any real meaning. A wife who takes her husbands last name is no less part of her original family. A Native American named after ‘nature’ (Sitting Bull, Dances With Wolves) is no less “named” than the 100 or so names that have predominated over the last 50 years.
And lastly, giving advice to people based upon how others will react now and in the future is very chancy, and can perpetuate wrongs, or maintain an homogenity we may not want. Whether its “Don’t Go Out With The [Other Race Here] Girl” or “Stick With Windows, People Will Make Fun of You, and It will Difficult To Exchange Files if you get a desktop running [Put Other OS Here”. Both comments do not serve the greater good.
Hey, worst name of all time:
Dick Butkus.
Like my friend used to say, his parents named him knowing full well he’d either spend his entire life getting his a** kicked on the playground OR he’d grow up to be the greatest linebacker in NFL history.
Maybe there’s something to be said for these bizarre names.
My children go to school with little girls that have Celtic surnames for first names. I’ve seen the people that looked at their newborn daughters and said, “I’m going to name you Kennealy/Kennedy/MacKenzie/Killian.” If Jillian can be shortened to Jill, what is Killian shorten to?
A name tells us something about a person. Last name Smith probably means, like lou mentioned, an ancestry of horse shoe makers. Many names are like that. John’s family name comes from a maker of keyboards. I swear to you I’m not lying, I knew a girl in gradeschool whose name was Tracy Pussy (during roll call she was simply “Tracy”). I come from native American Indians but have an interuption in my ancestry from a Nordic great-great-great-grandfather who whitened up my genetic make-up. As a matter of fact, my dad told me he was born with blond hair and blue eyes. That’s what his mother told him. But then one day he died as an infant. His mother left him by the river to rest in peace. She came by two days later and found him alive, but his hair and eye and skin color changed. She took him back and finished raising him. I come from a lineage of European monks and Amazonian Shamans. Damn! what a combination. Probably explains my weirdness.
#10, Your story reminds me of the old adage on heredity,:
If your parents don’t have any children, chances are you won’t either.
I was named after two dead Uncles. Both were killed young, one at 15 the other at 28. For years I thought it was a curse and I would be knocked off at 21, the average of their lifespan. Even common names can carry baggage.
Rc, were you named after that fine offbrand cola?
Two words: Hollywood pretentiousness
Thankfully it’s still legal not to hire someone based on their name.
“Hi, I’d like you to meet our producer, Moon Unit.”
If you don’t like your name, change it. No one is stuck with a name.
Sort of explains why our children are running wild. The second Dark Ages has started. I weep for our future.
All these parents are doing by giving their kids weird names is guaranteeing that they’ll be in therapy, take psychotropic drugs, and/or go on multi-state crime sprees.
Why not name your boy Sue? Then you’ll know he’ll either get tough or die.
12.
Did you hear about that young Indian boy who goes to the village Chief to inquire about the naming of babies?
boy: Chief Sitting Bull can you tell me about names?
CSB: Well, when your sister was born, I see rainbow in the sky, so I name her Rainbow In The Sky.
boy: oh. (his eyes are starting to see clearer, but he is still a bit confused. Chief Sitting Bull clarifies with another example…)
CSB: When your friend you play arrows with was born, I see lightning strike in distance, so I name him Lightning Strike in Distance.
boy: (he’s start crying softly. CSB puts his crown of feathers on the alter and walks over to the boy, “Why do you cry Two Dogs Fucking?”)
There was a linebacker for UGA named “Happy” Dicks. He later became a neurosurgeon. I guess becoming a urologist or marrying a girl named Anita would have been out of the question.
Sadly I agree with gquaglia at #14. The simple explanation is usually the right one.
Go Google for “baby names” and you’ll be surprised at names that are commonly chosen. A lot are “normal” ones (Joseph, Emily) but many will surprise you.
Three of our kids were named after relatives that had names that are not common now. Two of those uncommon names somehow became popular again in one or more spellings (Jenna, Kirstin).
Let’s see, Parasite shortens to Paris (Hilton). That’s nicer than being accurate and naming her Useless.
#6 – The best all-time football name is the Former Detroit Lion: Harry Colon. (He probably named his kid Semi….)
It reminds me when I used to work for the VA. We kept regional records back to WWI. Some funny examples.
Harry Butt and his son Dick
St. Christopher Christian
Mary Christmas
Wendell and Orville Fagg (twins)
I think mostly rich people can get away with this. If I were going to get Tom Cruise’ money. it wouldnt matter what they called me.
Typically, kids with weird names actually do not end up in theapy, and weird names are not harbingers of the apocolypse, and frankly there are far too many airheaded nymphs named Brittany.
I like unique names. I wish I had one. My real name name is Jones. Can you imagine how boring it is to go through life being named OhForTheLoveOf Jones?
One of my favorite unusual names is that of former iD software designer American McGee.
The only thing more interesting than his name is the childhood adversity he overcame to become the successful figure he is today.
I had a great uncle on my mother’s side named “Cosmo”. I want to name my next son (if we are so lucky) after him, but my wife won’t allow it. It might be because his last name will be “Knott”.
A friend who works in a hospital and checks patients in says that there are a lot of really bad names out there. The worst is “Shithead” (pronounced shi-tod) What’s even worse is that she has seen a few young male patients with that name. So, it’s trendy, I suppose.
Whats worse taking a typical name like Deborah and pronouncing it DebOHrah phonetically the emphasis on OH, and then getting snotty because I didnt pronounce it correctly.
Close, but not quite on topic.
I go by my middle name. Many people do. So why the heck will “the Government” not accept anything except my first name when I sign something for them.
Shoot, when we bought our house, I had to sign or initial about 45 / 50 pages. I get a phone call a couple of days later asking me to return to the main office and resign ALL of them using my first name. When I asked what it was worth to them for me to leave work early, go out of my way, and resign everything, I was told I had to do it or they wouldn’t finance the house. I told her to fax me an acceptance that I would be reimbursed $2.00 per page or they could start foreclosure right away. Of course I didn’t get a fax and we are still in the house, four years later.
One thing about the “John Smith” example – back in the day, buisinesses would often stay in the family – so John Smith’s son would likely also be a blacksmith, and his son as well after him, so on, so forth … but not anymore, so yeah the system is outdated … whatever, it still works, and the government will let us change our own names if we feel so inclined.
One of my favorites was Chanda Lear (Daughter of Bill Lear — inventor of the car radio, Lear Jet, and Lear recorder.
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Baby Names