Now that there’s an objective way to measure the need for salvation, I’m expecting everyone to accept Jesus.
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Tee-Hee!
I hope people were listening to this so I’m not alone, my favorite line of last week was from bob and tom radio:
“Know what else is like vampires?”
“Jesus, cause he’s only allowed in if invited”
Okay, thanks.
yet another specific view on religious texts. I don’t think its specifically worth pointing out for any non-religious, objective discussion…
vampires have to be invited? I didn’t know that
Sounds like they are taking a page out the Scientologist handbook with something that resembles an e-meter.
Tecnically, acording to some legends, a vampire has no power over you if it wasn’t invited into your home.
That’s not to say it couldn’t enter (ala Buffy) just that it doesn’t have the ability to control you like other lesser mortals.
However its not a universal legend.
Yaaawn, someone has too much time on his hands. It makes the mind wander. Hallucinogenic drugs have an even greater effect.
wow, vampires and mind control? that explains something I read in sluggy comics a few years back
I saw one of these things at a county fair once. I followed the cables to behind the tent. It was connected to a hacked Diebold voting machine and not a T1 to God.
These fine people are spreading God’s Word, it is thier job as a Christian. We all will make the choice to do God’s will or not. What will be your choice?
We all will make the choice to do God’s will or not. What will be your choice?
Can you give a better definition of “God’s Will”?
If you mean following my conscience, I do that. If God speaks to me, that’s how he does it. If not, it doesn’t matter.
I certainly don’t need some other human being to “channel” God to me, or tell me what he meant back when he was dictating The Book to the various, uh… whatever they were, back whenever.
I do know that whoever they were, they had fleas.
God’s Word, the written word, is sole authority. The only way for you to know God’s will is to read it. Study to show thyself approved of God. The New Testament is where you will find the will of God. Learn it, live it.
If I could only unplug my brain I might be able to believe. Care to give me a lobotomy? Praise Jesus, dee dee dee.
Oh gawd! Now since everyone knows Jesus is a poor rip off of Horus, did the Egyptians ever resort to this kind of crap?
> God’s Word, the written word, is sole authority.
Funny. If I remember my history correctly, we have yet to have anything actually penned by the almighty(ies). Everything is done through unreliable co-authors which were voted as being authentic.How can anyone say they know what this guy/gal/thing’s word is?
What will be your choice?
I choose to have another beer.
Hmmm.. let’s see now,
We have a “book”, supposedly “drafted” by god. Which god?… take your choice, they are ALL equally valid.
Anyway, this “god” claims to be “true”.
And how do we “know” that? Why, it’s in the book!
Anybody ever hear of circular reasoning?
Interesting side note, the christian’s MUST believe in other gods (according to their book) because it states, most specifically, “thou shall have no other gods before me”. If there’s only one “god”, how can you believe in other gods….
and NO, it’s NOT a parable/simile/example. It’s a statement about other gods. Re-read the sentance…
to “me” what is a god, as Luther put it, a god is anything you put your trust in. For many in the US that would be money, themselfs, goverment, stuff, so yes there are other “gods” but they are not a God. If you trust your money to get your out of trouble, and to save you from problems, they your god is money. If you trust your strength to save you from all troubles then your strength is your god. What God was saying in commandment #1 is to trust in Him.
not only does the Vampire have to be invited into your home to gain control over you……he/she/it must be invited by the male head of household(making all female homes safe).
For Podesta….my source is that ever reliable one….the movie …*Lost Boys*
Can anyone say “e-meter”?
Hey, Whats wrong w/ that.. You make more money creating a religion according to L Ron Hubbard… Just kidding.
As for dinosaurs.. the everything (earth dinosaurs etc) in Genesis, verse 1. THEN after theat.. The earth was void. People speculate that the war in heaven, Satan being cast down is when the earth became void. Then was re-created.
Im not dogmatic about this, but it definately make sense.. anyhow, we’ll all find out in about 10-20 years when the Lord returns.. If not before..
“we’re never more than 120 years from eternity”
whatever that eternity might be… we don’t have to wait very long for it 😉
#20 that must make most of america safe, with all the households where the men don’t head them, the vampires are at a loss of who to prey on.
if Hillary makes president, does that protect the whole country?
Buffys not a vampire, she’s a slayer.
With all the ramblings going on in the world, I have observed that “God” is the greatest threat to mankind. It is not because of God that it is a threat but because mankind has made it so with its’ arrogance and ignorance.
But now I see the light, we have done what was thought to be impossible. We have learned to translate religion into a mechanical device that can “read” people.
Laserdisc:
I’m not sure that God is the greatest threat to mankind. Mankind is the greatest threat to mankind. If it weren’t for God, the world would be a lot worse than it is now…
Oh C’mon people… you guys must think the chickens that play tic tac toe are real….
The machine ALWAYS indicates you need God… because – everyone is a sinner according to Christian Doctrine. “all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.”
It’s not an e-meter… its simply a – press the button and VOILA! “YOUR A SINNER.” – never a variance… I have to give these guys credit… its a clever way to share their faith. And I’m sure its intended to be fun – but with a serious undertone.
Just my 2 pennies…
#29
Agreed. Good point.
Revelation 13:16
He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17)so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.
Hey, MR BUSH? Are we getting close yet!? 🙂 I cant believe there are Christians who think Bush is saved. He’s a tyrant. Now he wants to take over the National Guard? Ok.. Give it another 10 – 20 years.. Hard to see how it wont get there.. Cashless society in 10 yrs… then we’ll have techno theives stealing credit cards.. the only solution is.. YOU GUESSED IT!! 🙂
100 points for witty put down to #30!
(I really did like that zing!)