On a beach a few miles north of Detroit…


I’m assuming the drink on the table is not diet.


And here we have the best looking chicks on the beach. I didn’t say they were good looking, only the best looking. There’s a difference. See above for proof.


The latest trend in beachwear for men: A long sleeve dress shirt! Note that even his cuffs are buttoned. But at least he took off his tie.

And in case anyone thinks the old guy was about to baptize someone, here’s proof he was actually playing Frisbee!



  1. DT says:

    I believe Chicago is in the Midwest. Try Oak Street Beach. There is definate Playboy material on Chicago’s beaches. Going to Michigan looking for hot chicks is an automatic set-up for failure

  2. ECA says:

    Umm,
    Sence anything WEST of NY is THOUGHT to be CENTRAL.
    And Anything East of SF about the same…

    I want you to come to IDAHO and try a dip in Artisan waters, that range in temp, BELOW 50 degrees…

    would you like some BETTER pics?? you should see the 12-14 year olds…

  3. rosco says:

    What the hell was the point here? A few pictures of a beach north of Detroit with unattractive people. This is one of the dumbest and most pointless uses of the internet I’ve ever seen. Typical of a teen website. C’mon let’s at least try to be interesting.

  4. Anon says:

    #3, blogger.com is thattaway–>

  5. AC says:

    Hey! I live in Michigan! THere are LOTS of babes iat the Michigan beaches, and there are lots that aren’t at the beaches worlwide. What’s the point? And maybe the old guy has scars or is allergic to the sun. Who knows? At least he’s out haveing fun

  6. Named says:

    ECA,

    No, thank you. I prefer mature women… 15 will get you 20…

  7. bill says:

    Neither is Northern California.

  8. Kent Goldings says:

    I’m pretty disappointed with the sexist banter in this posting. I’m also disappointed with the lack of hot-chicks.

  9. James Hill says:

    Reason #27 why I don’t miss the Midwest.

  10. Jason Enos says:

    Aww…come on, John! There are PLENTY of attractive people on beaches here in Michigan (the best being my wife), and we’ve seen PLENTY of chunky locals on the beaches in places like Hawaii. We have more than our share of flabbies in the Great Lakes State, but have you ever been to our beaches? Some of the most beautiful you’ll find anywhere.

  11. Burned Eyes says:

    It could be worse. We could have to look at this http://joi.ito.com/images2/dvorakbook.jpg in a pair of bikini briefs. That would turn any beach into the equivalent of the third circle of hell.

  12. RTaylor says:

    The only problem I have is when an overweight fellow attempts to wear a speedo. I mean the type that appears naked because the belly hides the fabric. Very few men can even attempt to pull off the speedo look anyway. You can really see some sites in Europe where they’re more popular.

  13. Gibson says:

    I have to agree…what is the point of this post here? Dvorak.org used to be a place where the controversy guide-lines for the editors were pretty clear: Bash the Mac and post bad things about Bush and religion to stir things up. But this, this is just pathetic. It’s not even a story. I’m not even sure who you’re trying to offend to stir up the controversy.

    SN is losing it. What, no “Jimmy Wales is a former pornographer” news today?

  14. Michael McCaffrey says:

    What a mean-spirited thing to write. And so pathetically uninteresting! A fat woman at the beach. A goofy old guy having fun in the water. Wow, that’s worth discussing! John Dvorak, why are you letting this sad excuse for an article stay on your site?

  15. Jeremy says:

    Isnt it easy to figure out the posting?? It was made to try to make the Midwest out to be a bunch of rubes. I have traveled throughout most of the United States, and every State, region, has its share of beautiful people, average looking people, and the uggo’s.

  16. Mike T says:

    I say let SN put his money where his mouth is. Let’s see some swimwear photos of him since he MUST be a fine specimen of the male form in order to cast so many stones at others.

    If I were a betting man, I would say that SN is PROBABLY middle aged, fat, and bald(ing) but not doubt qualified to comment on the looks of others.

    I agree, let’s go back to bashing Bush and republicans. At least that’s something that serves the common good.

    Mike T

  17. Olivia O says:

    I think SN may not be feeling very pretty today and decided to take it out on others. Take a look at SN in “About Us”.

  18. RTaylor says:

    The average runway model is about 6 foot tall, weighs between 120 and 140 pounds, and wears a size 2 or 4 dress. If you watch a lot of TV, unrealistic expectations could occur when you enter the wild. For full disclosure I admit I’m too fat and middle-aged. That’s why I don’t wear skimpy clothes on the beach. I grow weary of the pointing and laughter. 🙁

  19. Mike Voice says:

    For full disclosure I admit I’m too fat and middle-aged. That’s why I don’t wear skimpy clothes on the beach.

    And for me, add the “deathly-pale” skin… think severe “farmer’s tan” …which causes bystanders to wince from the glare.

    “My eyes! My eyes!” indeed… 🙂

  20. gquaglia says:

    Move to New Jersey, hot ass everwhere.
    A sample from a local bar.
    http://www.njcoors.com/photos/surfclub8_6_06/index.html
    Enjoy

  21. SN says:

    Everyone is curious what I look like. Here’s a recent picture! Enjoy.

  22. David says:

    I don’t care for the hat.

  23. Angel H. Wong says:

    I have some friends who frequent a gay bar in London called “XXL” that I’m sure would love to give SN’s a good tongue bath among other things 😉

  24. Gibson says:

    It’s the hat…the hat is throwing off the entire ensemble.

  25. Podesta says:

    General, you are much too obsessed with women in bathing suits, Ever considered interacting with a member of the opposite sex in a nonsexual way? . . . I didn’t so.

    I agree with the commenters who have pointed out that the average American is overweight. Will be heading to the mall later today and I know the cross section of America I see there will be largely plump.

  26. Podesta says:

    Correction: I didn’t think so.

  27. JToso says:

    Hey GOD Damn it! I LIVE IN THE MID-WEST!!!

    And, I agree with you…… *tear*

  28. Mr. H. Fusion says:

    #21,

    DAD !!!

  29. Thomas says:

    It is not just the Midwest. I was at Ventura State Beach a couple of weeks ago and saw a couple with a four year old that was disgustingly fat. The kid couldn’t even walk because her thighs, which had rolls, were so fat that she had to put her legs out wide and was constantly tumbling over.


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