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Who’s your daddy?
Men’s rights activists in the US are to argue in court that fathers do not have an obligation to pay money towards raising a child they did not want. The National Center for Men is fighting the case on a behalf of a man who says his ex-girlfriend had his child after telling him she could not get pregnant.
Activists say men should have the same rights as women in dealing with the consequences of unintended pregnancy.
[Matt] Dubay says that his former girlfriend became pregnant with his child after assuring him she had a physical condition that prevented her from conceiving. He says she went on have the baby, despite knowing that he did not want to have a child with her.
He now wants the court to free him from his obligation to pay $500 (£287) in child support every month.
No comment
Responce for a legal society.
Sign a legal release form prior to intercouse.
Responce for a naturalistic society.
You spread em, you bare em, you raise em.
I knew a guy who was making about $5/hour back in the 80s. His girlfriend had a baby and said it was his. He was righteous and gave support in money and in fatherhood due to the court order. He did not marry but, because of this relationship had a 2nd child with here which was his. Later he found out the father of the 1st child was not his, it was a friend of his. He went to court to get out of child support payments for the 1st child and the judge said that the moment he accepted that child as his it is his even though the court had ordered his child support. The mother was not faulted in this in any way. The court went on the word of the mother only and that was it. Remember, they did not have DNA at this time.
Yes, there is a double standard.
Fortunately he took it better than what I would have and many others. At least I know he cared for both them and sacrificed hundreds of dollars a month. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the first child caused him to move back home with his parents due to the financial strain.
To this day I wonder how it all turned out. The first child is now in the 20s.
#76 ByScryAnmi – “Responce for a legal society.
Sign a legal release form prior to intercouse.
Responce for a naturalistic society.
You spread em, you bare em, you raise em. ”
A good point. I have thought something similar but mainly so the woman can not come back and say she was raped. Of course as most of you know when is there time to sign something in the heat of passion/lust?
Michael
You are confusing two separate issues.
As Steve has pointed out, repeatedly, Women and men are unequal in this case. A man has absolutely no say or input into any decision the woman may make. That, and that alone, is what this is about.
Children deserve a good home and upbringing. There is no denying that. That does not answer the part about the baby’s father being devoid of any input or power in the decision making process.
Now Michael. I know you are against abortion. And I respect that and your entitlement to that belief. If you want to hold to that though, it would be better if you refer to the unborn child as: an unborn child, a fetus, the baby, our little darling, or any other term referring to the fact you hold that this is a person. By referring to the unborn child as IT only defeats any honorable intentions you have and demeans the very person you hold so precious.
Steve and Lou
Good fight guys. I agree with your points but you said them too well for me to add much to them.
He didn’t want the child, nuff said. That woman should accept responsibilities for her decisions and the man should be left out of it.
“Steve, you are right it is wrong that a woman can escape her responsibility, but that does not mean we would advocate for a man to be able to do the same thing. 2 wrongs do not make a right. Also remember what is legal is not always right.” What is “right” is a matter of opinion.
Anothe point of (un)equality is that men have no say in how their money is spent. It could go on mom’s new dress, or pack of cigars. And furthermore, the in custody cases, the mom wins 99% of the time, often when she is financially weaker than the father, and even on drugs or alcahol. So, if a dad WANTS to take responsibility for his actions, he has no oportunity short of marriage(often unlikely) to do it. And if a mother doesn’t like the dad, she can get a warant to keep him away from the child he is paying monthly money to feed.
I forsee a lot of “GOTO” statements in this one.
Kathleen, I commend you for what you have done. I knew another woman who did it with two kids but just survived with no degrees, without child support/foodstamps, only to get pissed off when she saw someone use food stamps for groceries and put the groceries in a nice new Cadillac. I think you will understand that one.
There are people who are kind enough to help being a big brother/big sister. But don’t push them to do so just because you screwed up. Like you say it takes two to tango. However, everyone makes mistakes. You have showed your best to overcome them and again I commend you for your efforts.
Now, what about those who think life doesn’t begin at conception? Actually, before conception as it takes two living organisms to conceive another living one (both people and sperm/egg). Oooh that was coming from someone who is not affiliated with the religious right (or left).
rus62, lets not say Kathleen “screwed up” we don’t know what happen so lets give her the benifit of the doubt here, besides she has earned that much, most people could not do what she has done, so a little respect for her.
Michael,
We all screw up (or make mistakes) at least once in our life whether it is something small to something big, none of us are perfect.
My response to her quote:
“So fellas…study some more cultural anthropology, go out and help some single parents of volunteer to be a Big Brother, spread condoms in public places…whatever. ”
…and I said, “There are people who are kind enough to help being a big brother/big sister. But don’t push them to do so just because you screwed up. ”
Basically you can’t expect people to always come to someone’s aid for their mistakes but we are very fortunate in this country to have those people who do.
I also said, “Kathleen, I commend you for what you have done. ” and then again, “You have showed your best to overcome them and again I commend you for your efforts. ”
It does take 2 to tango. If not, then it is a criminal offense. If my tone seemed strong I don’t apologize because I used a “period” and not an “exclamation point”. Also, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that she did not plan her child before conception.
Abortion is legal. A man should not have to support a baby that he did not create under the contract of legal marriage. Word promises basically come down to she said/he said. That is why marriage exists–to proclaim and enforce that promise to society. A woman who has a baby out of wedlock is 100% responsible if she goes through with the pregnancy. If she alone cannot support the child, then she should have an abortion, or give up the newborn to adoption.
Women should stop playing the victim. Women HAVE A CHOICE. Roe vs. Wade gave that to them. Women who force the father to support her child is a vamp who teaches her child the most tragic lesson of all: IRRESPONSIBILITY.
Men, its funny watching you all argue over this. Mainly b/c I am a woman and i think if a woman KNOWS a man doesn’t want to have a baby then she should think about that before she has it. Now some of you are against abortion, well that is where this thing called ADOPTION comes into play. AND if protection was used then why should a man be punished for it not working.
I know a man who is paying support for his kids. HOWEVER the amount of support people ask for is ridiculous. He is married with 2 kids and they have to go without b/c his ex refuses to work and lives off of welfare. Her refusal to work making his child support payments quite a bit higher than they should be. If a woman wants child support then she should HAVE to work. otherwise she gets NOTHING.
how would you like for OVER half your check to go to a woman who sits on her ass and refuses to help herself and her children. think about htat before you start on the “men need to be responsible” crap that is pouring out of your mouths. yes men need to be resposibel BUT SO DO THE WOMEN.