In their years as recruiters, Jon Reed and Rachel Meyers saw plenty of resumes pass across their desks. Plenty were good… but
some raised some eyebrows.
An example:
Lesson 1 — Keep all of the information on your resume relevant.
What not to do: “When I’m not programming, I perform magic. I like solar applications, optical stuff, cool technology and anything to do with radio waves. I juggle and twist balloon animals. I bungee jump on occasion, and I would like to experience skydiving soon.”
“I am attending college to obtain two degrees and three certificates in the field of Computer Science. In my spare time I like to work on my computer and do various activities with my girlfriend.”
My favorite — when they suggest keeping unneeded topics out of the resume:
“Though the right opportunity might not be available for several months, I’m willing to wait for the right situation. I’m 42, have a wonderful wife and two sons, and love Jesus Christ with all my heart.”
I disagree – the worst resume’s are the same, bland, boring ones. The ones that you have to go through hundreds of to find anything interesting. As someone who’s wasted months of my life trying to hire programmers, I’d have killed for something as interesting as these.
Although, no, I probably wouldn’t have hired them.
I heard this guy got passed the resume screening and was called in for an interview but blew it when the interviewer was pleased with(and ready to hire) him and asked if he had any questions. The job hunter leaned closer and asked if the company provided employee lockers where he can store his gun.
Last job, I did my own hiring. I remember for one position, I received 200 + resumes.
I tossed all those on off white or colored paper. Anything other then 24 lb, 92 or better white, non-gloss finish was tossed. I only kept those with 12 pt New Times Roman or similar type. Then went anything without a cover letter. Then went everything more then three pages, including cover letter.
Next to go was anything that didn’t tell me the dates they went to school. While I was doing that, I also tossed anything where there were no courses, seminars, or studies since graduation..
Any resume that used more then 10 words to describe their hobbies got trashed. I next culled every resume that mentioned their ranking / position in their church.
Then I checked the CL for what they could do for me. All resumes claiming they wanted to save the world and be a better person didn’t last. Any meandering or repetitive statements didn’t stay on my desk. All spelling mistakes hit the can. The last I checked was for a signature and date.
Lastly I called in the two people that were left. I hired one and managed to convince another department to take the other. A year later both were promoted.
I didn’t care about any employment gaps. That may be explained during the interview. Your hobbies might be fun, but I need someone to do a job. I expect you to keep on top and upgrade yourself, but don’t make it a promise, make it ongoing. If you need to brag about your place at church, you can stay there. The church has no place at work. If you can’t write a resume, with all the support help out there, how will you write a report? And using spell-check shows that yes, you do check your work.
Whoa Mr.Fusion you sure are an asshole.
Work is work. Gotta have standards.
Johnney
Have you compared your resume to what I wrote and come up short? Remember, I had over 200 resumes to go through at a time when I was short staffed. I didn’t have time for frilly things. I don’t want to read between the lines or guess. I don’t like puffery.
Just give me the facts so I can read them. Get my attention, but don’t turn me off.
Hey if I had 200 resumes that is what I would do too- throw out anything not relevant, focus on what is.