So there I was on the airplane, paging through the ubiquitous SkyMall catalog, when I ran across this thing. Does it really work? Will it become a staple of the job interview process? Will it result in more divorces as suspecting spouses check up on the “working late” story? What can you do with it connected to your cell phone?
Imagine the fun you’ll have when you show off the deFIBulator at your next party. Use it for a game of truth or dare and you’ll see who’s being honest and who’s not. The DeFIBulator is destined to be the most talked about new novelty product this year. After extensive research and development in labs in Singapore, Spion has developed the first generation of the DeFIBulator hand-held voice tension detector. The DeFIBulator utilizes voice tension technology to measure varying degrees of vibration in the voice. These vibrations are caused by the user going from a state of calm, to being a little nervous as you would when you lie. Even an F.B.I. polygraph isn’t 100% accurate but after extensive testing, the DeFIBulator was shown to have a 65% accuracy rate. It can even be connected to your cell phone! As a matter of fact, because of the digital connection it will actually be much more accurate.
When you lie, the horns get longer! Ha, ha!
65% accuracy??? I’ve been guessing when our president lies with 100% accuracy. How do I achieve this amazing feat? I’ll give you a hint………..when he lies, he’s speaking.
(OK right wingers, flame me baby)
Wouldn’t this be fun to stick on the bottom right of the TV screen on all the Sunday talking-head shows! Soon they’ll probably make a model built into a mag light for cops.
“I only had two beers officer. Two.” beep beep…
How about a meter on your tv screen that tells you if the subjects voice is showing stress.It would be a good indicater of where the interviewer should ask more questions but it wouldn’t carry with it all the baggage calling it a lie detector would.
Only 65% accurate? You should be able to guess 50%.
Remember, everything I say is a lie.
“I am lying.”
Wait a minute… I built one of these things 20 years ago from a Popular Mechanics project! It measured ‘voice tension’ and moved a little needle. Cigarette smokers (not hard to find back then) lied 100% of the time! So did the cat.