Some swore they saw the Virgin Mary’s head, while
unbelievers were equally adamant that it was not.
If the internet has simplified anything, it is getting your religious responsibilities out of the way so that you can go get a hamburger. At Absolution Online, you can acknowledge your sins one by one, in a “shopping cart” sort of way, and then “check out” when you are done.
As a test, I went and confessed to unbridled lust, then checked out. I received the following instructions.
Consider the implications of what you have done. You must take all steps possible to undo what has been done.
Well, it’s kinda hard to put the toothpaste back into the tube if you know what I mean. wink wink.. nudge nudge.
But now comes the punishment, which I was dreading:
You should fast for 5 days. If this is too much to do at once due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a fast into smaller sections.
I plan on taking their advice and fasting for two hours between meals until it adds up to five days.
I think they mean you can break it up into 5 1 day fasts, probably not well written. But of course the “punishment” as you put it, the RC (Roman Catholic) church calls it Penances (this is something the faithful will want to do as an act of contrition), It comes out of the RC believe in Works righteousness (aka it is not just Christ’s work on the cross that saves you, but you must do good works to get into heaven, or you will spend time in purgatory)
Here is another view on Confession and absolution, out of Luther’s small catechism”: from Project Wittenberg http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/little.book/book-5.txt
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Here are some differences between Lutheran confession and RC confession. 1) Lutherans do it face to face with our pastors. With Lutherans there is no Penances as with the RC.
One sad thing is that in the Lutheran churches private confession has fallen into disuse, and there are many a Lutheran that does not even know we have Private Confession, If a Lutheran talks about Confession to another Lutheran they think you were at a RC church.
The church I go to has Private confession available every week, I should go soon, I have not been there in a few months, I just have trouble getting up in the morning and it is at 9am on Sunday morning.
Venial Sins
Recite 2381 Hail Marys and 65 Our Fathers.
Mortal Sins
…
You should fast for a total of 11 weeks. If this is too much to do at once due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a fast into smaller sections. If you are unsure how long it is safe to fast for, consult a doctor.
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I think I’m going to put that off for a bit (scary thing is, only 4 sins i did out of about 20 or so were fake ones)
The_Decryptor I win I got more (key hit the refresh key a few times, after you pick one, that will add them up, I will have fun tonight to see If I can get teh fast to be over 2 years long, ok I have no life)
Venial Sins
Recite 6560 Hail Marys and 200 Our Fathers.
Mortal Sins
You should fast for a total of 28 weeks.
I confessed to premedited murder AND “accidental” masturbation, and I only have to fast for 4 days! I’d hate to see what I have to do to get a week. Burn down my village, maybe?
Dvorak…you are a hoot. You are a very funny man.
The world would be a much duller place without you.
“Some swore they saw the Virgin Mary’s head, while
unbelievers were equally adamant that it was not.”
But there was no denying the scent of roses. 🙂
Ron D, I keep staring into those bushes, and I still don’t see her head.
Careful now, showing the Mother of the Christ might be offensive to some. It could cause rioting and worse, a shortage of Danish Cheese.
Ouch Pat you hurt my side there. LOL that was a majorly bad joke.
It’s not Danish Cheese! It’s “Cheese of the Prophet Muhammad.” Good to know we’re exporting the “Freedom Fries” idea.
I don’t need it anyway, I got four weeks of fasting to do.
KB, it’s kind of like those “Magic Eye” posters. You have to focus your gaze beyond the picture.
RonD,
OMYGOD, SHE JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE PAGE AT ME !!
I Nearly Had a Heart Attack and Died !!
I’M A BELIEVER
I COULDN’T LEAVE HER
IF I TRIED !!!