Warriors for God. Which God will win?
Could Jesus win a tag team match between Buddha and the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Tired of wondering if your God is worthy of your time and money and prayers? Afraid yours won’t measure up to your slacker, no account brother-in-law’s God whom he calls his ‘beer buddy’?
If so, then here’s a contest just for you! Let us know how you plan to vote!
Right here on the Internet, we will attempt to bring a final resolution to all religious wars, controversy and hypocrisy.
The Rules
The rules are simple. Any religious organization in the world is invited to enter their god. The various gods will be given three challenges to fulfill. These challenges have been chosen because they represent typical accomplishments of most of the present day gods, as well as historical ones. In light of the various literary records, these challenges should be very easy for any god to accomplish.
Only one entry per religion is allowed.
The winner will be the god who completes all three challenges in the least amount of time.
Challenge 2: Corpse Raised
Any human corpse in a stage of putrefaction can be entered. The Committee of Judges will examine the body to verify that it is actually dead. The corpse will be locked in a private chamber, where it can be observed objectively. Absolutely no one will be allowed inside the chamber. God must be able to morph through the walls and enter the chamber if this is required to perform the resurrection. The Committee of Judges will determine when the deceased is a cognizant human being again. Revitalizing hibernating hamsters does not count.
Finally! Organized religion has done something for me: A reality show worth watching…
Go Ted Go
YEAH TED !!!!
http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=3995#comments
Is God willing to to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
The Western world only talks about God. The East talks about God’s MOTHER. You see, you don’t know anything about her.
The bible begins, “In the beginning…”
The East knows about “Before the beginning…”
God has been christened “God”, but His Mother is Nameless. God is Unity, the number 1. God is all-knowing because there is only ONE thing to know! Namely Himself. His Mother is worse off. She knows NOTHING. SHE IS EMPTINESS– a numerical value of ZERO. Out of nothing– ex nihilo– she gave birth to God. God was immersed in Nothing but HE couldn’t know Her! It was sort of like the proverbial fish who knows nothing about water even though he is immersed in it. That was the fate of God. He couldn’t know His own damn Mother. He was Lonely. Lonely Bastard. He knew everything except His own Creator. His Mother was always there. No one gave birth to Her. She has always existed. God in His loneliness and desperation utilized the only thing he could do. He found a way to get to know HIS Creator but He had to give away EVERYTHING. For He was EVERYTHING, except NOTHING. AND NOTHING IS WHAT HE WAS SEEKING TO KNOW! Inorder to find Her he had to do something that was incredible. His Mother was 0. He was 1. God COUNTED! HE COUNTED TO TWO!
By counting to 2 he simultaneously DESTROYED HIMSELF AND CREATED THE UNIVERSE! His Mother remained as always and WE ARE STILL IMMERSED IN HER just like the fish in water.
MEN ARE GOD.THERE IS NO GOD BUT THE MAN YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR. YOU CREATED THE UNIVERSE.
KNOW NOTHING. I dare you. Know NOTHING. Can you? WHEN you do… then GOD HAS ARISEN IN YOU.
david
Where did the mother come from?
Pat, She’s always been. She has no beginning and no end.
I will admit that a circle has no beginning or end. Everything else does though.