Sorry, but this post is so crazy..it goes back on TOP! — editor
Of the above pic, Jesus Christ– a.k.a. “Ted”– has this to say:
[T]his is a Human Female that is completely nude from head to toe and showing everything and this photo was cropped and she is working in and posing in and in Pornography and she LOOKS to be like an Angel of Light and VERY GOOD and VERY NICE and VERY SAVED and like many Christians and is she Saved currently? NO Then who or what is making her LOOK like this? A Demon. Then how many Demons are there like this that POSSESS Christians? MANY There are some Demons like this that have MUCH Power and can COVER and POSSESS about a million Humans at a time and make them LOOK and FEEL and SEEM to be Saved and Forgiven and having NO Spiritual Problems in the slightest. Who is reporting this? Michael the Angel. Then what is mostly Spiritually Controlling her? She is POSSESSED. Is she a Christian? YES
Well at least he and I can agree that she looks VERY GOOD and VERY NICE and VERY SEXY and VERY LOVELY and VERY RAVISHING. But why all the CAPS? I also appreciate his pointing out that she is a “Human Female”; I’m sure we needed some help with that one.
Is this guy putting us on? Is he serious? You be the judge. Read the related links below.
Related Links:
Ted’s Third Testament Oh silly me! This is the same link as above. I just forgot that the newest testament includes girlie pics. :-)
Ted Runs For PresidentDon’t tell me this is “old news.” It’s not: He says that we have to keep voting for him again.. and again.. and again….
Ted Plans To Be Richest Man on EarthRead his enormous wish list here!!
Ted’s Home PageAh yes, and here’s the front door to his website.
related link:
Source of many of Ted’s images is here (caution — nudity). The website owner is complaining about Ted ripping off his images then complaining about the girls.
No picture and broken links as of 11:50am Pacific time!
I also see Ted is selling his DVD’s for $37 a piece for insurance incase God calls him home early and you didn’t hear his whole message. Well, if you got to be a nut job you might as well make a living out of it.
Um…Can I say “Whack job,” or will I be sent to hell immediately? I mean, I would assume that if I called God a “Whack job” to his face he would turn me into a newt or something.
But, I’ve already thought that Ted is a whack job and I’m not a newt…Sorry Ted.
G
last scentance from the “human female” link
Ted who is THE ONE LIVING GOD is THE MOST ROYAL THING that exists!
ROTFL
Matthew 24:4-5 for those few who might try to take this guy seriously
Very lonely, insignificant men who cannot fulfill their sexual desires disillusion themselves to be God because that is the only way to rationalize their fucked-up existance in a world that utterly ignores them.
I would have thought “Jesus” would know more about web page design and legibility than what I see on Ted’s page. And I guess non-english speaking HUMANS (male and female) are out of luck for this “second coming”.
So this Ted guy has a beard and long hair and he’s Jesus returned? And all he does is look at pr0n to tell us that the women are going to Hell? No wonder the Pope didn’t take his calls.
This guy has some great pictures on his site. Thanks for the lunch-time laugh. Now on a more serious note, I hope that Ted has no affiliation with anybody’s children. He is one scary … human wierdo.
How can we tell if she is VERY SHAVED if he cropped the friigin photo!
Oh wait………
http://www.tedjesuschristgod.org/Someof4.7GBTed_PD_DDD_1/truethirdtestamenttobibles/books/tjcgttb_3freethesexualslaves.html
Fake. Nutcase. I tried to make logic of it, it’s intriguing writing, but he’s still full of it.
So Ted can only get chicks that are starving and desperate in Russia?
From the look of Ted in Ted’s photos, Ted looks like he would be more into little boys and house hold pets than girls.
In fact, Ted looks like someone’s prison bitch.
Personally, if some jew, or any one else for that matter, shoots this guy, I really won’t mind. “Evil clothes?” “Possed Beings?” “Ted is forever Republican!?” …seriously, I won’t mind at all.
P.S. It’s amusing to see him speak of america as the Holy Land, and Russia as an evil empire of unreligious demons, when russians are WAY more religious than most americans I meet. And finally, having “Jesus” be our president is just a tad bit unconstitutional.
This guy should hook up with Joseph Newman, perpetual engery man.
I’ve been a big fan of Joe’s for years, and had the smarts to save a copy of this page from his old site. Check it out, Our man Ted has nothing on Joseph Newman.
Joseph Newman’s Proof of God
YOU CAN’T HANDLE TIME CUBE
Awake commands: The Hosts are COMMANDED to OBTAIN for Awake MORE Girl Friends and or Live Withs and or Live Togethers and or Religiously a Wife than any other Human Man on WORLD Earth and what are for certain Young between 18 and under 40 and In the Ball Park and Beautiful to STUNNER!
Awake Commands: Awake to be able to BUILD a HUGE AND RICH AND WITH THE FINEST MATERIALS and THE RICHEST TABERNACLE in an ENORMOUSLY DEEP UNDERGROUND ECO ENCLOSED FORT and using TONS OF GOLD!
Awake commads: For Awake to have made a SOLID GOLD HUGE THRONE! For Awake to have made a SOLID GOLD CROWN! For Awake to have a GOLD SCEPTER! For Awake to have MANY MOST ROYAL ROBES! For Awake to have MANY THINGS what are for THE MOST ROYAL THING ANYWHERE!
Is he for real? It’s a hard call.
The text has all the signs of schizophrenic which is hard for normal people to fake. (Try it sometime… it has its own style and logic. Maybe you can do it for a paragraph but he’s filled up a dual layer DVD with the stuff!)
But the schizophrenics I’ve known are too disassociated with the world to run a full website with all the software skills and organization it takes.
If I HAD to vote… I’d say he’s for real. I think it is harder for a normal person to fake schizophrenia than it is for a schizophrenic to run a web site.
(As for the pornography… I thought that cheesecake girl-next-door pornography was out-of-style decades ago.)
Judging by the text (I could only skim it, 3 “sentences” and my eyes were spinning), I thought this site might have been made in China. The stilted English reminds me of assembly instructions that came with this cheap PC case I bought last year.
After perusing the pics, something harkened back to years and years ago, when I had cable installed for the very first time. I wondered how long it would take to bump into references to porn, on one or any of the channels. Found them right away, of course – on the 700 Club, a treasure trove of info. Anyway, did he have even one picture of a virtuous girl in there? And why didn’t he show any possessed *ugly* people?
Further proof that content on the ‘Net is 90% garbage.
Somebody please link this guy to the Bush administration and tell them to stop bothering Google… He’s what they are looking for!
Seriously though, I ran through the main section of the site. (Erase all after .org on address bar) Some seriously disturbing words. It has no reference on the female gender but more so about world security. The first sentence is intriguing. As the thought of a national security threat crossed my mind, his bold words started to draw themselves out. I had the notion of it possibly being a cryptic message? It all is very scary to wonder if “Ted” is not a person, but possibly an organization of some sort revealing themselves through cryptic words. Help me out here people. This type of stuff should not be overlooked during these times.
Some hot chicks in there, pity they were cropped…
So, what is Christian is for women to be ashamed of their sexuality, of being beautiful and of appearing naked… What is Christian is to make people feel ashamed of what is natural…
Have we forgot that Jesus never said that love and sex were sins? That whole idea was created in the Middle Ages to make EVERYONE think they were sinners – sex is a sin + everyone wants sex = everyone is a sinner = give money to the church and do what the church says so that you will not be punished…
No wonder some people who thought this was for real went bonkers…
How come nobody figures this out?
Sex is good! Go forth and multiply! Be happy! That’s what the Man Upstairs wants us to do!
Maybe he is the real Demon…
The beauty of self censorship.
Anyone out there think that this guy should NOT have the right to put up this site or spew whatever you call it that is on the site?
The guy might be weird or whatever, but that sure makes me look better.
Was that Shania Twain in one of pictures? I didn’t know she was a slut.
Looks like he is just stealing Pictures from http://www.domai.com and cropping them to rememove all the photographer info…
wtf are these 4.7GB DDDs the new jesus keeps pushing?
is it true that our lord and savior is too lazy to type D V D?
more to come at 6. here’s tom with the weather.
thanks cody, hell literally began to freeze this morning…..
Can you say “Nutjob?” This guy is a filbert, walnut, almond, macadamia, peanut, all rolled into one! I thought I saw it with Pat (The Assassin) Robertson, but this nutso takes the booby prize!
SAVE THE SLUTS!
As Bugs Bunny once said, “What a maroon!”
Enough of this…let it die on the back pages where it belongs.
G
Whoa…quick get the net!
I think this guy was dropped on his head a few too many times.
Anybody have a black helicopter they could get to circle this guys house a few times to really set him off?
I love how he rants about women, and then demands many for himself.
He picture of Ted here:
http://tedjesuschristgod.org/marginlinkpages/TedTTTB_Tedat45FEELINGOVERTHROWN.htm
Looks a little bummed out..
Someone find this guy and medicate hime quick!
I agree with Dvorak, keep this one at the top!
/.Chris
Wouldn’t Jesus Christ know better than to use FrontPage?
Gotta give him credit, though — he does have one of the best privacy policies I’ve ever seen — try substituting “Ted” with, oh, YOUR company’s name (I couldn’t bear to wade through the Legal page — yikes!):
Ted does PROTECT the Privacy of them HE LOVES and them HE does not LOVE or at least like then HE does NOT protect their privacy in the slightest and may take the opposite approach and that is to EXPOSE them!
If you communicate with or work for or become involved with Ted Jesus Christ GOD your privacy will be held in the strictest of confidence unless you are a hostile and then you may be exposed to ENORMOUSLY EXPOSED to Publicly Blacklisted by Ted Jesus Christ GOD!
Since this idiot claims to be God, wouldn’t he be able to miraculously compress the 4.?GB into 1 byte?