We all know the story by now. Ten years ago, a jewelry designer named Diana Duyser made a grilled cheese sandwich while working on some drawings. She took a bite, marvelled at its cheesy goodness, then had an epiphany: Her sandwich looked like the Virgin Mary!

Duyser, presumably no longer hungry after her brush with the Virgin Mother, hid the sandwich in a box for a decade, where it miraculously grew zero mold. Eventually, for reasons only known to Duyser, she unveiled it to the world, which went crazy for her little Grilled Cheese effagy. So crazy, in fact, that the Antigua-based casino GoldenPalace.com, best known for drawing its name on the backs of sweaty men who pummel the shit out of each other, bought it for $28,000 on eBay.

That’s a lot of money for a grilled cheese sandwich. To level the playing field, an enterprising man named Christopher Curry is selling his Blessed Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary Creation Kit on eBay … with a bid of $3,500.

Since we here at The Black Table know that you lack $28,000 for a randomly occurring piece of religious sandwich, or even $3,500 to recreate the miracle in the privacy of your own home, we conducted a test to make our own. Here’s how we did it.

If it doesn’t work well — especially if you can’t find some fool to fork over their hard-earned cash for religious bread — you can always rub it with a little garlic and turn your work into croutons.