In our never ending quest to bring you the latest in cutting edge science and technology, we present the first ever (at least the only one I’ve found without searching anywhere) in-depth test of a vital protective device in our terror-fighting arsenal and the stunning conclusions these pioneering researchers have reached.

Perhaps this explains why President Bush likes photo ops with him wearing the military equivalent.

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study
Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.