Three quarters of UK bosses and almost 80% of their staff are concerned about “deadwood” colleagues who do not pull their weight, according to a new survey. Do they mean you? Take Kiri Kankhwende’s quiz and find out.
Yes, this is designed for British office workers. I’ll bet you still know exactly what the answers should be — and where you really fit.
It’s a tea break. There’s only one biscuit left. Everyone is looking at it and you decide to make your move. You:
– Take it. You’re hungry. It’s a no brainer
– Politely offer it around, silently hoping against hope that no one will take you up on your offer.
– Offer the biscuit to the shy intern in the corner. You can afford to be generous; after all, the other two biscuit tins are stashed under your desk.
or, how about —
While reviewing a major project you notice a serious error that will require the whole thing to be redone. It’s due tomorrow so what do you do?
– Crash the computer and go home. Your story is that you never received it in the first place
– Work tirelessly the whole day and night, neither eating nor sleeping, and collapse in a heap after it has been submitted
– Take your time over the week and pretend you thought the deadline was for NEXT Tuesday
Incidentally, the state with the most goofing-off is Missouri. Just in case you wanted to know.
Have you been to the UK when workers run to the pub during lunch to throw back 3 or 4 quick pints and head back to work glass eyed? Half the office is asleep at the desk. Things might have changed now, but this was common just a few years back. You best not have a heart attack in an English shop during an union mandated tea break. I loved the English, but working with the Irish was a much more interesting adventure.
Okay, so I’m deadwood? …perhaps it’s that I find issues of empty water coolers, parking violations, going-away gifts, and biscuits very trivial matters when actual assignments need done. Tea breaks? Sorry. Lunch and coffee is consumed while working. Helping co-workers with their tasks? To an extent, but not at the expense of my own duties. However, I firmly believe that jammed printers need immediate attention – only with the gentle precision of a sledgehammer, of course!
The job gets done, thats all – If I work best with a nap at 3pm then tough.