Although I’ve never seen this printed in the Washinton Post it’s called the The Washington Post Mensa Invitational. And once again it supposedly asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The University of California Alumni Magazine does somethihng similar to this every month, by the way, but has failed to post it on the net for a decade. Maybe I’ll post a few of the better ones myself.
Here are this year’s winners. None of them get through spellcheck.
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
via B. Delaney
I deal with number 7 on a regular basis.
Just hope I’m not the latter of the two.
I, also, have some problems with #7. Fortunately to make up for it I never have to deal with #9.
I’ve had many of #15! I wish there was a cure for it.
I was hoping that this was a real Washington Post contest. But alas, it appears you’re right. Someone just tacked the name on. Do you know the source or do you have a link to the U of Cal magazine? Or is that only open to alumni members?
I had a few modest entry ideas. Here’s one:
ICKTHYOLOGY – The study of fish that live in the Hudson River.
Just doing some urban legend control.. this contest actually occurs weekly in the Washington Post but it’s called The Style Invitational. It varies in content but the words listed above came from a 2003 contest, not 2005. Typical net meme: good content, bad metadata. Netadata??
Here’s one: Ortho-don-tics; what happens to your teeth if you take a loan from the Mob and fail to pay up.
Anti-pope: the pope’s parents’ sister
Human CrapillomaVirus (HCV): that feeling you get after having dealt with obnoxious people all day.l
prevedburzhuy