Get a First Life: A One Page Satire of Second Life — Very funny satire of Second Life.

spotted by Sergio Gasparrini



  1. Rick says:

    Looks like they hit Second Life first, but the layout/look and content suggests someone behind this has played Puzzle Piirates too…

    Cracked me up…I must access my closet to create my look now…

  2. Mike Voice says:

    “Fornicate using your actual genitals”

    I can’t add anything to that.

  3. undissembled says:

    WHAT THE FUCK JOHN! I said that in a comment a few months ago about Second Life. I want my credit!

    Just kidding ;-P

  4. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    It’s funny… But there is a point at which I am tired of bullshit “get a life” sneers aimed at gamers…

    I work in Indianapolis and of course there is a professional athletic entertainment company here that is getting a great deal of attention right now because their staff of bulky millionaires recently outperformed a competely corporation.

    Thus I get an email that says that on Friday, if I like, I am allowed to wear a Colts Jersey and jeans to show my support for the Colts. More amazing was hearing co-workers express delight that they “get to wear their jersey to work”. Ooh Goody!

    I became an adult just so I wouldn’t have to get excited because someone gave me permission to wear my special shirt.

    Now my support was already forced from me when the city levied a sales tax increase to pay for a new stadium because the rat fuck Colts owners won’t spend their billions on a new arena (claiming some crap about creating new jobs… as if hot dog vendor were a legitimate career option).

    So, millionaires play a game. Poor people spend big $$$ on stupid looking jerseys, paint thier faces, shout BUYA!, and generally regress into a primal state… AND I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO GET A LIFE?!?! (I don’t play Second Life – But I do play other games online)

    If I have a superiority complex, it’s because football fanatics exist.

    My point is… Why shouldn’t people into pro sports be told to get a life? What about nerds who go to book club meetings? How about scifi conventioneers? What about people into gardening? I know a guy who is obsessed with SCUBA diving (which is hard to do in Indiana in the winter)…

    There is nothing wrong with having an interest… a hobby… even an almost fetishistic attraction to an activity… But there is something wrong with condemning mine because it isn’t yours…

    Especially if you are wearing a godamn dumbass muther freaking Indianapolis Colts Nylon Jersey.

  5. Mr. Fusion says:

    #5, Ya, I know. The Browns suck. So do the Bengals. Whatcha gunna do about it.

    (go colts, yeah, yeah)

  6. joshua says:

    #5 aside(he’s a professional bah humbug anyway)….I found this not only funny, but right on……..in fact, I’m still laughing….God there was so much funny about it that if I had to I couldn’t pick the funniest part….but ***fornicate using your actual gemitals*** might just be it. ***Work….reproduce….perish*** would be a good second choice.

    Right on John.

    Go Denver(ooops, deh bad)

  7. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #7 – Oh now where do you get that I’m a humbug…?

    I’m not wrong about using public funds to subsidize pro sports…

    I’m not wrong about saying football fans are no less geekier than gamers or woodenship builders or online blog site responders…

    All I’m saying is that while I get the joke, there is nothing wrong with me being a gamer and on the Friday before the Academy Awards, I damn well better be allowed to wear my Martin Scorsese Jersey and jeans…

  8. TheGlobalWarmer says:

    #5 – Are there that many places in Indiana to scuba dive in the summer?

    The NFL’s not so bad. The underlying premise of the game is to is to use sheer physical force to overpower and inflict pain on the other team. That’s what makes it superior to all other pro sports.

    Shatner himself told Trekkies to get a life in a skit. If you could have full contact kick reading at a book club, you’d have something.

  9. Mr. Fusion says:

    #8, I damn well better be allowed to wear my Martin Scorsese Jersey and jeans…

    Hey, I heard about this guy down in Indy that dresses like that. Apparently Mr. Blackwell has put him on some list, …

    Getting serious. I totally agree about using MY tax dollars to build a new stadium. I wouldn’t want to contribute to Martin Scorsese new home either. If you feel the need to be entertained that badly, then please buy your own ticket.

  10. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #9

    🙂

    Why then, are gymnists sexier than weightlifters?

    #10

    And frankly, I’m tired of Mr. Blackwell poking his elitist nose into my closet.

  11. Mark says:

    OFTLO- I thought I was one of the few people left who feels this way. I am definitely not against sports, playing them that is, but have never understood the joy of watching extremely overpaid athletes put a ball through a hoop, a goalpost, a whatever. To each his own, I guess when their team wins, they get to feel “superior” that their purchased team of athletes beat another towns purchased team of athletes. Whatever.

  12. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #12 – Join me in my new “I Don’t Care About Sports” club. As a charter member you’ll recieve a free pocket protector and your choice of a C-SPAN or MIT Faculty desk calander.

    You can also by “I Don’t Care About Sports” sweatshirts from my Second Life store using Linden Dollars*

    *whatever those are 🙂

  13. TheGlobalWarmer says:

    While I was watching the NFL games this weekend, my wife
    and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for
    living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I
    never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some
    machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

    She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

    Man, sometimes it’s tough being married to a smart ass.

  14. Mark says:

    14. Wise woman. Funny story.

  15. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #14 – Man, sometimes it’s tough being married to a smart ass.

    You mean, it’s tough for her? 🙂


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