INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

***************************************************************

DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Tooting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck !

Tech Support

Found by Brenda Christensen.




  1. Named says:

    Geez John… Isn’t there something OLDER you could have posted?

    After seeing so many versions of this message, you’d think the b*tch would have upgraded by now…

    😎

  2. Tim Yates says:

    Girlfriend 1.0 is quite humorous as well.

    The punch line for Girlfriend 1.0 is …

    Consider buying additional software to improve the performance
    of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
    DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
    likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

    http://chainletters.net/chainletters/installing-wife-10/

  3. bobbo, not an expert says:

    First and only argument I have heard for leasing my OS.

  4. Thinker says:

    ROFLMAO! 🙂 and both are true.

  5. McCullough says:

    #1. Be careful you could be in danger of violating posting guidelines!!!

  6. Named says:

    5 McCullough

    NO COMMENT

  7. McCullough says:

    #6. Damn…the cat IS out of the bag.

  8. Mick Hamblen says:

    here it is somewhat different
    http://soli.inav.net/~catalyst/Humor/husband.htm

  9. Angel H. Wong says:

    Don’t forget that if Both the Boyfriend 5. and the Husband 1.0 come with a the Christian Values preset to a high level they might come with the closeted homo glitch.

  10. TheCommodore says:

    Hmm, so what happens when you move everything into the cloud? Personally I think you’d still be running Mom 0.99b with no prospects for being able to run Girlfriend 1.0, let alone Wife 1.0

  11. Animby says:

    This, or something very similar, may very well have been the first email chain letter I ever received. Long before I upgraded to Wife 2.0 and, sadly, Alimony Alpha.


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