Let Ernest tell you his secret for looking so well at his age…
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Remember the old saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”? Well, other activities help, too.
Since when is masturbation considered “abuse”?
Oh, I forgot. You guys are idiots.
[Ed. – The use of ‘Abuse’ is for humour. Don’t be a troll]
What exactly does he say? I’ve listened 4 times and “I pass the pickle” doesn’t make sense.
More than I ever needed to know.
Good on him!
What do you call it when a 91 year old man successfully masturbates?
Miracle Whip!!
Old joke, but works here. Hope my plumbing still works if I live that long.
#3 bobbo – What exactly does he say? I’ve listened 4 times and “I pass the pickle” doesn’t make sense.
Borgnine whispered “I masturbate a lot” but from now on on Dvorak Unlimited, “pass the pickle” will mean the same thing. 🙂
Dill or sweet gherkin?
#7–lol==thanks. I listened for the 5th time and it was clear as a bell. Pass the pickle sounds like two people might be involved. “Pack the pickle” might be better.
About a year ago I read a study about how masturbation for males reduces the risk of prostate cancer. I wonder how many people in hell can pee farther than I can?
Hmmm….I guess the lovely Tova can’t keep up with the horny old bastard.
No cries of “Skipper…the Nips are coming” in their bedroom, I guess.
Did you notice the fur on his palms? Disgusting.
#7, Like,
as long as they aren’t the sliced, …
*
I can’t help thinking he must be a Republican. He thinks his “abuse” is funny, just like FOX SPEWS and the other wing nuts think abusing people is funny.
Yup, has to be a Republican.
I’m glad to see him doing so well. He’s still funny and he still works.
#12 – Paddy-O
I have to agree with you on that.
After he passes the pickle, does he have to bite the end off, if it falls out?
#13 – BTW, I was watching Sponge Bob with my daughter the other day, Ernie does the voice for one of the characters and Tim Conway does the sidekick’s.
That explains the sticky upholstery inside of Airwolf.
#16–Bobo==good one. I always see “Fatso” in From Here to Eternity and have never liked Ernest ever since. Funny how a role will stick with you.
He’s makin’ mchales gravey.
Yet another reason to rub one out!
I thought he had been dead for years.
Ode to a Cuke
Don’t frill your dill for a thrill,
Don’t beat your sweet for a treat,
And please don’t tickle your pickle when you’re fickle,
Or you’ll just be jerkin’ your gherkin.
Hey !!! It’s clearly a case of USE IT, OR LOSE IT !!! But I wonder if he has one arm bigger than the other !!!
Science may back him up:
“Masturbating may protect against prostate cancer”
http://tinyurl.com/2qbru3
18- “He’s makin’ mchales gravey.”
Oh now that one was truly inspired genius. I wish I’d thought of it.
Ethel Merman may have had a hand in that: http://www.thisoldgrouch.com
#2..
The answer is, when you are a Catholic!
Ba Dum Dum, Tisch!